"Ping" my fellow U.S. citizens

Bill White · 2004-06-02 15:50:01

You wear it at all times.
I'll work on a Pink Floyd... maybe Dark side of the Moon... maybe not.

Maybe I am not being clear:

Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone.
Hey! Mormon! Leave those Jews alone.

Alt2War · 2004-06-02 15:50:26

I happen to be an Ex-Mormon, raised as one and went apostate
I am a font of anti-mormon rhetoric, I have a large cache of arcane mormon history, and take delight in occasionally spreading mormon fun-facts.
For instance, did you know that all mormons over 21 are required to wear special Holy Underpants?
Uh oh. ???
Wanna read a draft novel?

sure.

Alt2War · 2004-06-02 15:59:56

I always thought the Morman "holy underwear" thing was a joke, what does this particular thing entail? Dosing underwear with holy water? heh

The first time a young adult mormon visits the temple, for males before they go on their 'mission' (wear suits and ties and go convert others) and for women when thetey get married, they purchase from the temple a set of underpants

These underpants serve as a constant reminder of the oaths and vows taken in the temple.

They also posess dementions that force modesty on men and women.

The doctrine reguarding these blessed drawers shifts depending on location and period, but for the most part you are required to wear them at all times. You may chenge them, of course, into clean ones.

non-mormons do not go to 'Outer Darkness'. Outer Darkness is reserved for mormons who have given a high position in the church but later rebel or denounce the church.

non-mormons go to the bottom level of heaven, called (i think, Im a bit rusty) the Telestial Kingdom. There the dead mormons will grace you from time to time and preach to you, and you will wait with baited breath until someone babtises you in proxy on earth.

clark · 2004-06-02 16:18:17

We don’t need no holy saving.
We don’t need no baptizing.
No dead ceremony in the temple.
Preacher, leave our dead alone.
Hey, Preacher, leave our dead alone!
All in all it’s just another name on the tree.
All in all you’re just another name on the tree.

Bill?

Cobra Commander · 2004-06-02 16:24:30

non-mormons do not go to 'Outer Darkness'. Outer Darkness is reserved for mormons who have given a high position in the church but later rebel or denounce the church.
non-mormons go to the bottom level of heaven, called (i think, Im a bit rusty) the Telestial Kingdom. There the dead mormons will grace you from time to time and preach to you, and you will wait with baited breath until someone babtises you in proxy on earth.

Hmm. It has recently come to my attention that I, at my grandmother's insistence, was baptised in the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So I guess I've been half a Mormon all this time and didn't even know it.

So you're putzing around the Telestial Kingdom and some great grandchild baptises you. Then what, does a Mormon FedEx guy come by, make you sign for your release, then your move up? Weird.

They also posess dementions that force modesty on men and women.

Dementions you say? :laugh:

Alt2War · 2004-06-02 16:35:35

Hmm. It has recently come to my attention that I, at my grandmother's insistence, was baptised in the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So I guess I've been half a Mormon all this time and didn't even know it.
So you're putzing around the Telestial Kingdom and some great grandchild baptises you. Then what, does a Mormon FedEx guy come by, make you sign for your release, then your move up? Weird.

Unless they have changed the doctrine since I was last in sunday school, this is suprisingly accurate to the actual doctrine.

The Reorganized church og blah blah blah was headed, and still is I believe, by actual direct decendants of Joseph Smith. Think they reciently changed their names.

As I recall, they are the ones who actually own the property where jesus will come back. Bitterly coveted by the mormons.

Mormons have HUGE, HUGE stockpiles of food and grain, ready for the apocolypse.

Cobra Commander · 2004-06-02 17:08:07

The Reorganized church og blah blah blah was headed, and still is I believe, by actual direct decendants of Joseph Smith. Think they reciently changed their names.

As far as I know, yes. Though apparently the current <ahem> prophet has no sons, hence the recent <ahem> revelation from God concerning women in the priesthood.

Back in 2001 I think it was, they changed the name to the less Mormon-esque "Community of Christ"

As I recall, they are the ones who actually own the property where jesus will come back. Bitterly coveted by the mormons.

They could time share or something.

Bill White · 2004-06-02 19:39:47

Mormons have HUGE, HUGE stockpiles of food and grain, ready for the apocolypse.

When I was in college I took a two quarter class on American social movements. I was an American History major after all.

Anyway, we discussed the so-called http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Awakening]Great Awakening, the Second Great Awakening and the countless sub-groups that came thereafter. One fascinating story concerns the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millerites]Miller-ites and their http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment]Great Disappointment.

Miller-ites and Mormonism both arose from the so-called http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burned-Ove … ict]Burned Over District.

As my professor explained it, tens of thousands of Miller-ites sold everything they owned and gathered on hilltops on October 22, 1844 waiting for the Second Coming. One problem: the sun came up the next morning.

All apocolyptic faiths share that problem - - maybe the sun does rise the next day. Then either adapt (morph?) or fade away.

Okay, "what if" - - lets just say "what if" all that social energy Alt2War describes could be re-directed towards another goal?

Bill White · 2004-06-02 21:39:00

We don’t need no holy saving.
We don’t need no baptizing.
No dead ceremony in the temple.
Preacher, leave our dead alone.
Hey, Preacher, leave our dead alone!
All in all it’s just another name on the tree.
All in all you’re just another name on the tree.
Bill?

Well done, as always. clark you have a gift, or is that a Gift?

Anyway, Bill what? You know I ain't no poet.

Dammit Jim, I am an historian, not a poet. By the way, he's dead, Jim.

Okay some editing suggestions. If you can't be a poet you can always be a critic.

Galleria version:

We don’t need no holy roller.
We don’t need no larger vision.
No empty ritual in the temple.
Preacher, leave our souls alone.
Hey, Preacher, leave our souls alone!
All in all it’s just another day at the mall.
All in all you’ve spent another day at the mall.

Alt2War · 2004-06-02 22:03:43

Mormons have HUGE, HUGE stockpiles of food and grain, ready for the apocolypse.
When I was in college I took a two quarter class on American social movements. I was an American History major after all.
Anyway, we discussed the so-called http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Awakening]Great Awakening, the Second Great Awakening and the countless sub-groups that came thereafter. One fascinating story concerns the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millerites]Miller-ites and their http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment]Great Disappointment.
Miller-ites and Mormonism both arose from the so-called http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burned-Ove … ict]Burned Over District.
As my professor explained it, tens of thousands of Miller-ites sold everything they owned and gathered on hilltops on October 22, 1844 waiting for the Second Coming. One problem: the sun came up the next morning.
All apocolyptic faiths share that problem - - maybe the sun does rise the next day. Then either adapt (morph?) or fade away.

Okay, "what if" - - lets just say "what if" all that social energy Alt2War describes could be re-directed towards another goal?

In my opinion, apocolyptic churches do not depend on the impending demise on the plant, just on the fear of an impending demise.

Chrisitanity is an apocolyptic chuch, and has been for very close to it's entire lifespan.

Trebuchet · 2004-06-02 23:41:45

Returning to the original topic of the thread... or rather making a comment on something the thread creator said in response to my response...

South Florida is like another country, one where the leaders do LSD until they see flaming rabbits on the road. I live north of there, in the sane part of Florida. There was recently a movement to give the counties in the extreme SE 'home rule' to minimize the troubles they occasionally cause for the rest of the state.

Cobra Commander · 2004-06-03 06:24:11

South Florida is like another country, one where the leaders do LSD until they see flaming rabbits on the road.

LDS to LSD, how's that for a segue?

Flaming rabbits, you say...

dickbill · 2004-06-03 06:46:55

Chrisitanity is an apocolyptic chuch, and has been for very close to it's entire lifespan.

Apocolyptic church...you just have to flagellate that's it, no big deal.

Remember, Soddam and Gomorhea were destroyed in three days because they didn't flagellate. The french, called Saddomites in some chat forum (they support Saddam), flagellate a lot, that what makes them smarter and wiser, knowing everything, like american republicans.

dicktice · 2004-06-03 08:22:44

The book of mormom has some of the best sci-fi plots, ripe for the taking by those suffering from Writers' Block resulting from a lack of imagination. Gripping stuff . . . taken with adequate pinches of salt.

Cobra Commander · 2004-06-03 10:38:20

The book of mormom has some of the best sci-fi plots, ripe for the taking by those suffering from Writers' Block resulting from a lack of imagination. Gripping stuff . . . taken with adequate pinches of salt.

From what I've read of it so far, I absolutely agree. Had to skip ahead a little before finishing 2 Nephi. Great stuff. I want to make a movie based on some of this stuff, even got a few associates interested in the project idea. Well, until the logistics of shooting a pre-Columbian South American cavalry engagement came up.

Turns out someone beat us to the punch, not surprisingly, but it just isn't as good if you take it too seriously.

Alt2War · 2004-06-05 06:52:14

The book of mormom has some of the best sci-fi plots, ripe for the taking by those suffering from Writers' Block resulting from a lack of imagination. Gripping stuff . . . taken with adequate pinches of salt.
From what I've read of it so far, I absolutely agree. Had to skip ahead a little before finishing 2 Nephi. Great stuff. I want to make a movie based on some of this stuff, even got a few associates interested in the project idea. Well, until the logistics of shooting a pre-Columbian South American cavalry engagement came up.
Turns out someone beat us to the punch, not surprisingly, but it just isn't as good if you take it too seriously.

I thought horses we not native to the americas.

Rxke · 2004-06-05 13:38:32

Enter the fearsome WarHogs...

Hmmm... Should be a lot less expensive to shoot, that way

Cobra Commander · 2004-06-05 15:19:16

I thought horses we not native to the americas.

What, you callin' our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ a liar?

Questioning a person's faith with factual data, not at all fair play.

Enter the fearsome WarHogs...
Hmmm... Should be a lot less expensive to shoot, that way

:laugh: WarHogs eh? Now this has to be produced.

Exceeded smiley quota.

Palomar · 2004-06-05 15:33:26

Enter the fearsome WarHogs...

*Enter the fearsome Sweathogs!

Vinnie Barbarino forever! (not really...)

(I have no clue what the heck you guys are talking about anyway...[whoops -- edit out some other stuff...trying to lay off the politics])

--Cindy

Euler · 2004-06-05 15:38:12

Horses were native to the americas. Same with cammels, mammoths, and giant beavers. However, they all died at the end of the last ice age, soon after the native americans arrived.

Well, there are always llamas.

Cobra Commander · 2004-06-06 01:28:50

Well, there are always llamas.

Somehow the approach of Lamanite troops on llama-back doesn't quite fill me with bowel-wrenching fear.

Now those giant beavers, that's another story...

dicktice · 2004-06-06 13:35:56

There is a flock of sheep, near here, guarded against coyotes by a large male llama which grazes in the same fenced pasture as they. I defy anyone who values their life to even lean on the fence, if that beastie conceives of them as a threat to those sheep, if they value their life!

Palomar · 2005-03-14 13:01:42

Its]http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=1&u=/ap/20050314/ap_on_re_us/courthouse_shooting_114]It's a little LATE now, isn't it?

*The barn door was open, the horse already bolted.

Gee whiz. NOW they're concerned about greater security at the courthouse -- and likely over-reacting to boot.

Last week the accused -- who the day prior had been found trying to hide a homemade knife in his shoe or sock or whatever -- wasn't shackled nor handcuffed as he was being led to the jury room by a security guard, who apparently was not specially trained to subdue a rebellious and violent inmate. People ended up dying (unfortunate of course) and he of course took off.

Now they're policing the courthouse as though it was a 9/11-esque terrorist attack and the chances of a similar violent murder spree happening because the security guard was stupid and/or careless will likely never happen again regardless. I dunno, I'm a woman same as that security guard, and if I were in charge of a big burly violent man who is likely much stronger than me (unless I'm a blackbelt in karate), I think he'd be cuffed and shackled. Guess we've got too many cop shows nowadays of 90-pound Twiggys body-slamming Schwarzeneggers and holding them down forcefully (yeah, that could happen...); fiction being confused with reality.

Talk about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure.

Well I sure hope it DOESN'T happen again.

--Cindy

Grypd · 2005-03-14 14:01:11

What happens is people get sloppy or are too lazy to pass on information like this which is critical. But what also has to be mentioned is that a prisoner in a cell has a lot of time to think about places to hide things or to make something and a guard may only have a few minutes at best to check that person.

I can honestly say that I have found things hidden that would very much surprise the general public. Frankly it is mostly drugs they try to hide but sometimes weapons or the new favourite Mobile phones. I could give examples galore.

Palomar · 2005-03-14 14:28:57

What happens is people get sloppy or are too lazy to pass on information like this which is critical. But what also has to be mentioned is that a prisoner in a cell has a lot of time to think about places to hide things or to make something and a guard may only have a few minutes at best to check that person.
I can honestly say that I have found things hidden that would very much surprise the general public. Frankly it is mostly drugs they try to hide but sometimes weapons or the new favourite Mobile phones. I could give examples galore.

*Hi Grypd. Well, in this instance, the prisoner grabbed the guard's gun and shot her, then shot some other people.

He wouldn't have been able to have grabbed her gun in the first place if he'd been at least handcuffed of course.

Tragic all the way around. It's also the epitome of carelessness and foolishness, and could have been avoided. A loaded pistol within an alleged criminal's easy reach??

I certainly wonder if he built some sort of rapport with her (despite facing charges of rape), gained her trust and...we know the rest. It'd be doubly tragic if that were so. In that situation (guard to prisoner), I wouldn't trust any of them.

--Cindy

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