Chris - In memory of a friend

Palomar · 2003-07-28 21:06:27

*Well this isn't something I'd normally do on the internet, but considering I've been participating actively at New Mars for the past 14 months, I want to share the following:

You've seen my signature line: "In memory of Chris" Chris was was a friend to my husband (David) and I. He owned a barber shop here in town and lived with his wife, Linda, just 2 blocks from our home. My husband and Chris first became acquainted around 1995 when both started frequenting a little restaurant nearby which puts out really good coffee and breakfast. His wife didn't accept us as friends (for whatever reason), so mostly it was David and Chris hanging around together. Chris had a tart, stinging sense of humor, loved heavy metal and rock 'n roll; he was always going to rock concerts. David and he would go fishing, relax and drink beers together during "bullsh*tting sessions," etc. Around 3 years ago Chris was diagnosed with hepatitis C. The "fair-weather" segment of his group of friends deserted him. He and his wife had been having marriage troubles for 2 years prior to the diagnosis...and being diagnosed with hepatitis C put more of a strain on the marriage. Chris tried to keep up his cheerful disposition, including frequently bicycling on the street behind our house and yelling "DAVID! CINDY!" as he went past. He tried to be upbeat and positive; only rarely did I hear him criticize others...and I never saw him angry or irritable.

A few weeks ago he discovered, in a very dramatic and upsetting way (and in his own home), that the marriage was not going to work out. He and Linda separated, and with the assistance of a male friend she began to move into a trailer home next to her grandmother's trailer home, on the grandmother's property. On July 26, as David and I were enjoying the auto races at the Southern New Mexico Speedway, Chris flipped out and shot Linda, her friend, and himself in the head. Chris died at the scene; Linda and her friend were airlifted to El Paso; she died shortly after and her friend is in stable condition in a hospital.

Chris would have turned 40 the next day -- on July 27. Linda was 38.

We heard this terrible news Sunday morning, around 8:20 a.m. David and I were preparing to step out for breakfast when an elderly lady who also frequents the aforementioned restaurant (where David and Chris first met) showed up at our door with her boyfriend, telling us the awful news. We were staggered, to put it mildly.

It's so hard dealing with this. It's been a sad, horrible, terrible shock. My mood is up, then it's down; my husband isn't faring much better.

Has anyone else been this close to such a tragedy? Do you have any advice?

If Adrian exercises his right to remove posts at his discretion, I'll understand. But I sure could use some emotional support right now.

--Cindy

Josh Cryer · 2003-07-28 23:48:17

Oh my god, Cindy. I'm soo sorry for this horrible incident in your lives. It's just, wow, I cannot imagine. I cannot begin to imagine. I have never had such a horrible incident so close to home. The closest I've even remotely come was, well, my brother going to Iraq, and in reality that's nothing because he's safe and sound,and I hear from him.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you guys, and, I... I just really don't know what to say. I just wish someone saw the signs before it occured. But that probably makes it worse. Sorry.

Btw... I don't see Adrian around much anymore... hmm...

Palomar · 2003-07-29 07:52:09

Oh my god, Cindy. I'm soo sorry for this horrible incident in your lives. It's just, wow, I cannot imagine. I cannot begin to imagine. I have never had such a horrible incident so close to home. The closest I've even remotely come was, well, my brother going to Iraq, and in reality that's nothing because he's safe and sound,and I hear from him.
Anyway, I hope things get better for you guys, and, I... I just really don't know what to say. I just wish someone saw the signs before it occured. But that probably makes it worse. Sorry.
Btw... I don't see Adrian around much anymore... hmm...

*Thanks Josh. There are so many repercussions involved. I mentioned Chris owned a barber shop. He had 3 people working for him on a commission basis; one is a single mother with 2 or 3 teenaged kids, the other is a man who I think pretty much lives paycheck to paycheck. Now these 2 are suddenly without this job; their source of income is gone. The 3rd barber, Larry, has a 2nd source of income (custodian at a school), thank goodness. But it's just mind-boggling, all the lives effected around the people who formed the nucleus of the situation. I'm glad Chris and Linda didn't have children, considering how it turned out.

And as New Mexico is a shared-property state between spouses, the families of Chris and Linda will have to get lawyers and divide up the profits from the barber shop, sell the home (owned by the couple) and divide up the personal belongings...what a nightmare, and considering the circumstances, I can't begin to comprehend the animosity and acrimony between the two families.

Man.

--Cindy

dickbill · 2003-07-29 09:37:46

It's a so sad story, life is very hard for some people. Try to change your mind Cindy, maybe you should take vacations in the Caribeans or something.

Shaun Barrett · 2003-07-29 22:22:33

A very sad situation.
My condolences on the loss of your friend.

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#1 2003-07-28 21:06:27

Re: Chris - In memory of a friend

#2 2003-07-28 23:48:17

Re: Chris - In memory of a friend

#3 2003-07-29 07:52:09

Re: Chris - In memory of a friend

#4 2003-07-29 09:37:46

Re: Chris - In memory of a friend

#5 2003-07-29 22:22:33

Re: Chris - In memory of a friend

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