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#1 2005-03-04 10:40:34

Cobra Commander
Member
From: The outskirts of Detroit.
Registered: 2002-04-09
Posts: 3,039

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

http://www.newmars.com/forums/viewtopic … 8]Previous thread

                                   THE SECOND BOOK OF VLORK
                                                   Called
                              TRIBULATIONS AND OTHER IRRITATIONS

Long had it been that the first colonists did arrive in their cans of metal filled with foodstuffs, building material and heathen sinfulness. While brave and resourceful, they were a treacherous lot and quickly took to fighting amongst themselves. Many did flee to form their own homesteads in the wilderness, others sank deeper into madness. Sewage backed up as the plumbing was scavenged for firearms, the air grew thick and moist in the habs and the heathen Clark was cast out through the airlock to trouble the people no more.

The Prophet Cobra, having not yet heard the word of the Most High, did seize a passing band of robots from the lair of Josh, builder of droids and railguns and generally easygoing hermit, and the robots did labor on his behalf building habs, fighting sandpeople and melting down the golden calves that were then plentiful.

The fires of war grew and all manner of weaponry was employed, whether it be railguns or catapults, many projectiles did rain down on the people for many causes, some lost even to their adherents. Those who had yet resisted the grip of madness set out from the failing colony, Cindy, Mundaka and their followers did flee, though possessed of a madness all their own and hallucinations to rival any experienced by the others. The intrepid colonists Rik and Trebuchet however did not flee but chose to make the best of what had befallen them, though Rik was at the time locked in a leaking, radioactive hab and so had little choice in the matter.

It was then that the scourge of rabbits did become a grave threat to all and further a plague of frogs, which is to say Yu Knights, did befall the people. The meek did cower in fear, the bold did feast on rabbit and Yu Knight, the latter being preferred as they came packaged with their own wine and cheese and blue helmet which made a fine soup bowl. It was amid this tribulation and feasting that the Prophet did climb Olympus. Also did Rik’s mutation begin to stabilize, though comatose he was and the site of the Temple Bar was reclaimed by Trebuchet from the Yu Knights with a catapult and some molotovs. The Commandments were delivered unto the people, many of whom rejected them and sealed their own torturous fate, though many did embrace the true faith and all was well with them. The Temple Bar did draw massive crowds and the Prophet did raise an army of the righteous. The heathens, while evil and full of sin, were left alone save for a few incidents of their doing, and the colonial militia was provided with such aid as was required against the Yu Knights, in exchange for the best pieces of meat.

All was relatively well thenceforth, partly due to the exodus of Yu Knights, communists and other heathen types and terraforming did commence with great haste though little planning. Greenhouse gasses, mirrors over the ice caps, pillars of fire from on high and the occasional atomic detonation did change the face of Mars beyond recognition, though more conducive to life did it become as mandated by the First Commandment.

Then the rabbits did begin their resurgence, aided by Cindy and her followers, now hidden below the water-filled Hellas basin, free from the orbital scans and cocaine storm that surrounded the planet. Conspiracies were afoot amidst the Hellas heathens and some rambling Dutchmen, though the colonies were filled with the Faithful and profits at the Temple Bar were at an all time high. The Prophet was kept apprised of the infidel rabbit plots, releasing hundreds of suicide robbits to sow chaos among them.

And it was then that from the Temple Bar the call for Summit did propagate for the purpose of bringing peace to the people of Mars by focusing the peoples’ well honed skills in the arts of war unto Earth, home of the Yu Knights. And rabbits, for that matter. And so the Prophet did travel the plains with a large contingent of… negotiators… to talk peace.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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#2 2005-03-04 10:59:01

Palomar
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2002-05-30
Posts: 9,734

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Dear Diary:

We've received a visitor to our caves.  He brings an urgent message warning us of Rik's continued delirium (apparently only the 1st sentence of my Dutch-worded communique was coherent...danged translator), and further treacheries to come including "suicide robbits." 

One note of good news:  The stalactites and stalagmites within the cave complex are coated with only semi-precious metals and minerals.  Therefore, no attempts will likely be made to cast us out of our dwellings for purposes of plunder by others.

Now our guest hands us a copy of Lord Vlork's "Tribulations and Other Irritations."  The Prophet wishes to discuss peace?  We refuse to believe that, flatly.

Going back to the suicide "robbits," our guest informs us that while the "robbits" have been created to look and move exactly like a rabbit, there is one noticeable difference:  Their noses don't twitch. 

Initially we were highly alarmed at the appearance of our guest, for he is a Yu Knight but actually a double agent.  When he took off his helmet, we were vastly relieved:

http://www.cnn.com/EVENTS/1997/star.war … lg.jpg]Our guest

If only all Yu Knights were as courageous and handsome as he.

P.S.: 

Cindy, Mundaka and their followers did flee, though possessed of a madness all their own and hallucinations to rival any experienced by the others.

Flattery will get Lord Vlork nowhere


We all know [i]those[/i] Venusians: Doing their hair in shock waves, smoking electrical coronas, wearing Van Allen belts and resting their tiny elbows on a Geiger counter...

--John Sladek (The New Apocrypha)

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#3 2005-03-04 14:00:00

Trebuchet
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-04-26
Posts: 419

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

With several hundred negotiators from Vlorkia crowding the bar, Trebuchet desperately hoped that the people in the Hellas basin would send *somebody*, or else he might have the mother of all bar fights on his hands. He fired off several more emails to the colonists hidden under Hellas, promising free drinks and gambling chips.

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#4 2005-03-04 23:53:37

Trebuchet
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-04-26
Posts: 419

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

"Very well," Trebuchet said, while standing on a table in the TempleBar after one too many shots of rather strong Martian vodka. "If the rabbit-lovers of the underground won't come to negotiate with us, we'll go pick them up. At rabbitpoint," he clarified.

"They're underwater!" one of the TempleBar patrons said. Whether it was a regular or one of Lord Vlork's heavily armed, white-armored 'diplomats' wasn't immediately obvious and wasn't much of an issue anyways - Trebuchet's heavily armed and even more heavily intoxicated bar regulars were, man (or woman) for man almost as good as actual soldiers, and far more unpredictable.

Trebuchet frowned, having forgotten that little detail due to the excesses of a week-long Happy Hour. "We'll build a submarine! The first submarine on Mars! And it will bring the negotiators from the Hellas basin!"

This was met by scattered applause, several rounds for the house, and a large number of people trying to sneak out without paying their bills. It would remain to be seen whether a submarine could actually be built and used without killing all aboard, but such issues are triflingly minor to Martians. After all, they had survived mutant rabbits, bad food, more rabbits, Yu Knights, more rabbits, and more Yu Knights... come to think of it, there was a distressing regularity to the dangers of Mars, and they all had a single source.

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#5 2005-03-12 00:43:45

Mad Grad Student
Member
From: Phoenix, Arizona, North Americ
Registered: 2003-11-09
Posts: 498
Website

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

I don't have the slightest clue what's going on here. Considering that the topic has now slipped out of the first page of the "Free Chat" section and seems to be losing interest, I hope you guys don't mind if I go ahead and jump in.

Mission Commander's Log, March 11, 2103:

We finished re-packing the sails today, right on schedule. In two weeks the floatila will be landing, and maybe we'll finally find out what in any world has happened to Mars. I went over the procedures for atmospheric entry again with John Meadows, our cheif flight engineer, this afternoon; all the preparations are coming together nicely. Fortunately we haven't had to use the diamond-electric lasers the colony department of NASA insisted on including the payload manifest, at least for now. The results from the Antares's atmosphere observations are in, confirming telescopic view from Earth. Mars's atmosphere has swelled like a tick ever since we lost contact with the first colonists, whatever in God's name happened to them is wreaking havoc with the whole planet. Unless of course, they're behind it.

This time we'll be doing it right. We'll be landing at Von Braun Station in the Shenandoah Valley, right where the last colonists touched down first. That should give us a good indication of what happened to them; I can't wait to see the Valles Marineris for myself. There seems to be some activity in Hellas Basin, I'll make a note to send an expiditionary crew to go check it out. In the meantime we'll just have to hope for the best and try to piece together what went wrong, and do it right this time as well. It'll be difficult, for sure, but I've been stuck on this ship for the last three months. Let's get down there already!

-Lt. Col. Tiffany Barkley

Okay, I had absolutely no idea in the world on what date this was supposed to be set in, so I just guessed. Feel free to point out any plotholes I may have just opened up. So, who wants to go next?


A mind is like a parachute- it works best when open.

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#6 2005-03-12 02:44:07

Rxke
Member
From: Belgium
Registered: 2003-11-03
Posts: 3,669

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Encrypted radio chatter filling the Martian airwaves...

###INCOMING MESSAGE###

All ye Brothers and Sisters rejoice!

It's party time once again, praise Lord Vlork!
Our scanners have picked up the tell-tale signals of... Fresh Earth-meat!
Probably another tin can filled with tenderfoot Yu Knights, telemetry suggest the package will come down at Von Braun.

So, break out the guns and killer-robots.
And... Don't forget to bring your silverware! :angry:

###MESSAGE ENDS###

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#7 2005-03-12 20:56:32

Mad Grad Student
Member
From: Phoenix, Arizona, North Americ
Registered: 2003-11-09
Posts: 498
Website

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Slowly four shimmering dots on the horizon ballooned both in size and brightness. One by one they flared to almost painful brightness, sending soft wishpering sonic booms to the microphones of several recon robots. Under gossamer sheets of kevlar and plastic they slowed down dramatically, to little more than the speed of an average early-21st century car on a highway. Spaced five hours apart, the Olympus, the flotilla's flagship, then the Antares, Lowell, and Opportunity came to a screeching halt on plumes of plasma-hot hydrogen peroxide.

Immediately following the flotilla's landing that fine early summer morning, the quartet of ships unpacked and began setting up base under the salmon-pink Martian sky. It was a risky business, colonization, and the 200 daring astronauts from NASA, the Air Force, and Boeing knew it. But, they believed, the potential benefits of conquering this planet, and finding out what happened to the ill-fated previous expedition, would be well worth the potential costs.

Mission Commander's Log: March 27, 2103:

Thank goodness EDL was a non-event. What followed was certainly not. After landing we started unpacking base, just as proceedures dictate, but ran into a bit of a snag. Five sentry robots of some sort attacked the crew, before we could get the lasers out. We were able to destroy them, but it sure gave medical a wake-up call. Patel examined of one of the bots and said that it didn't match anything in the original colony's payload manifest. Left unsaid was that the robot looked like nothing that either Boeing or the Air Force had ever been involved with, but I could tell that was what we were both thinking.

Obviously someone is still down here, but who? There are so many questions; are they still alive? Is this some remnant of a nasty fued between two factions of colonists? As soon as Meadows and the rest of the engineering team confirms that all LSS subsystem loops are closed with growth room for the minimum colony expansion requirements I'll send a team out to Hellas to see what exactly is going on over there. Meantime we'll be exploring the local Valles Marineris. So far we haven't been able to find any remnant of the prevoius Von Braun station except for a few scraps of metal and what look like crudely-made shotguns. Either the last crew totally killed itself or decided to leave... and leave no trace of their existance. Beyond that I don't even want to speculate before we look at Hellas.

The pressure here is high enough that you don't even need a spacesuit to walk around, but I don't want to be the first to try that. On our first foray into the Valley we found that the Shenandoah River is flowing again, that was a bit of a shock. According to MSL's observations, that river hasn't flowed for over 2 billion years, but I suppose that it shouldn't be too surprising that it's going again considering the vastly increased surface pressure. This place is absolutely incredible. On the surface it seems like a dump, red rocks, red sky, dry dusty and low-pressure, but... there's just something about it. I have no doubts in my mind that it is our destany and duty to settle this place. I know it sounds weird, but after we landed, this place immediately just felt like home. The view from Shenandoah certainly doesn't hurt. We absolutely cannot afford to let this mission fail, it is critical to our species that we succeed.

-Lt. Col. Tiffany Barkley

OOC: I'm guessing that the Yu Knights were the original colonists that didn't follow Lord Vlork? And Lord Vlork is Cobra Commander? To all colonists of Hellas Basin, bring it on! Oh, yeah, and if anyone new wants to jump in feel free to join my side, because right now it looks like I'm all by myself.


A mind is like a parachute- it works best when open.

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#8 2005-03-13 01:12:57

Trebuchet
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-04-26
Posts: 419

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

OOC: Lord Vlork is Cobra, yes. Other things of note: there are at least three colonized areas: the one in Hellas Basin (Cindy et al), one in Chryse Planitia centered around the TempleBar (Myself and Rkxe), and Lord Vlork's base out in the boonies (Cobra). The TempleBar has ham radio broadcasting the output of the karaoke mike, ranting cultists, and advertisements, which your colonists should stumble across sooner or later and give you something to check out. The robots have Lord Vlork's commandments on the front and advertisements for the TempleBar on the back.

The Yu Knights comes from U-NITED nations. They are the UN teams sent to establish international control over Mars, and were violently and humorously annihilated by various people. There is also an earlier US relief mission that PurdueUSA was RPing which has presumably assimilated or founded another colony area somewhere.

And back in character...


Trebuchet's Journal, Earthdate March 27, 2103

Times are getting exciting again. Word reached me that the first  submarine built to visit the Hellas colony was finished, and fresh on the news of the Sergeant Pepper being completed, we recieved word that a fresh shipment of Earth colonists, probably UN targets, have been sent. They have landed to our SW. I have recieved word - or rather, followers of Lord Vlork whacked out on booze loudly yelled to the whole bar - that they had launched a recon mission of robots to check things out. I haven't yet heard about any success or failure on their part. I'm stuck here running the show, sadly, otherwise I'd check things out. Still... I'm going to broadcast advertisements on every frequency I can, just to see if they have peaceful intentions.

I'm also offering free drinks to help me build a bomb shelter. All I really have to do is widen some of the rabbit warrens the mutant bunnies have made and make them airtight. Oh well, we'll just barbecue them and be done with them. It's not like the Hellas colonists don't hate us enough for being 'rabbit eaters' as it is.

There's also the matter of who gets to captain the Sergeant Pepper. I doubt any UN troops planned on a NAVAL war...

OOC: Position of submarine captain is open to anyone who wants it, someone get it. ^_^

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#9 2005-03-13 11:09:26

Grypd
Member
From: Scotland, Europe
Registered: 2004-06-07
Posts: 1,879

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

And at Mad Grads invite, heres your new chief Scientist

Science Chief Notes 27th March, 2103

So we are here at last, Mars is a lot more terraformed than we thought could be possible. The Planetologists are absolutely ecstatic and are demanding we start the atmosphere probe program immediately. But they have accepted that getting ourselves set here first is the priority.

With that in mind we have had the technicians set up the two fusion power generators. No 1 went in easily enough but No 2 found the regolith to be thoroughly weakened by what appears to be a rabbit warren. Still we fused the ground under both with fastcrete. So now we have enough power to provide energy to the Nanofactory and the 3D printers. With these and the mining robots being online we will have the buildings and equipment we need to become a permanent prescence here all we have to do is dial it in.

                                                    Dr Gryphon

Science Chiefs Notes 28th March, 2103

Managed to get a Raptor UAV probe up and the planetologists have discovered that those fluffy clouds are actually some form of Narcotic and we wonder could it be there greenhouse effect that has made Mars as warm and wet as we have found it. The Psychologist team believe that it could be the effect of these clouds that has resulted in what appears to have been the complete break down of society on Mars. Still with the strange Robots that attacked us this indicates something is still alive here and they have a very advanced manufacturing base.

We also have deployed the Genetic Bank which holds DNA of most Earth animals and of course Humans. This is just in case anything ever happens to Earth a species rescue plan in fact. Still there are mumblings that maybe we should use it to increase our population base quickly but I am against it. Still it is good to have a back up plan.

                                                  Dr Gryphon

Email to Lt. Col. Tiffany Barkley.
From Dr Gryphon, Science Mission Chief

We are picking up what appears to be a radio signal to the NE. It is often broken due to the Clouds of dust and atmospheric conditions, but appears to be a commercial station of some sort.


Chan eil mi aig a bheil ùidh ann an gleidheadh an status quo; Tha mi airson cur às e.

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#10 2005-03-13 11:27:28

Palomar
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2002-05-30
Posts: 9,734

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

yikes  AaauuUUggGhhHH!!  yikes 

SPIDER!!!  {}SMACK-SMack-Smack-smaCK!{}

Oh.  Not a spider. 

Hmmmm...something scuttled in though. 

:squints closer:

A piece of volcanic ash? 

(Feels gentle breeze against face and forearms, stands up -- peers into distance, towards the back of that branch of the cave corridor)

Where could that gentle breeze be coming from??

Dear Diary:

Our enemies believe we can be coaxed out of our paradisical caves with promises of free gambling chips and free liquor.  They still don't get it.  We are scientists and explorers here, not party animals.

Our glow-in-the-dark clothing serves us well as we continue to push deeper into the caves.  We have discovered large potato-sized rocks which, if hit together briskly enough, produce a nice light-the-way glow (in addition to our clothing).

The double agent which previously visited us has returned...on OUR behalf this time.

Rik has completely flipped his gourd.  He is devoted to Lord Vlork.

Now to push deeper into the cave complex; a small party will investigate the source of the breeze.

We've received word that certain persons intend to force us from the caves, "at rabbit point."  :::yawn:::


We all know [i]those[/i] Venusians: Doing their hair in shock waves, smoking electrical coronas, wearing Van Allen belts and resting their tiny elbows on a Geiger counter...

--John Sladek (The New Apocrypha)

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#11 2005-03-14 07:11:07

Cobra Commander
Member
From: The outskirts of Detroit.
Registered: 2002-04-09
Posts: 3,039

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Having returned from the Summit with little but fluttering paper, pledges of non-belligerence and a bit of a hangover to show for it, the Prophet sat contemplating recent events deep in the sheltered city below Olympus.

"Recall all forces heading toward Hellas," the Prophet said to his High Priests and Generals. "They are little threat to us, save for their unchecked rabbit breeding which will be dealt with in time. Through our effort and faith the Hellas basin has been flooded, and from the waters they are given life. Though heathens they be, we have brought life to the wilderness as instructed in the First Commandment. Their survival is our success. That, and it's Hellas, too far to march a division of killbots and Holy Warriors so soon after the summit."

"But they defile the word of the Most High," one of the Priests bellowed. "They must be destroyed."

"They are Martian, blood of our blood and their hands chapped and worn by the same red soil," the Prophet replied. "To destroy them is in direct violation of the holy texts."

The Priests pondered this interpretation, accustomed to seeing the non-believers as heathen infidels, their mere existence destructive to the great plan of the Most High.

"What of the other armies moving against them?"

"What of them? I would certainly not presume to give orders to the armies of another, should they see fit to attack the heathens their reasons are their own and none of our concern. If we crush them it violates our highest Commandment, if others do the deed it is merely fate. The plan of the Most High."

"But your Holiness," the High Priestess of Olympus began, "would not then destroying the new arrivals be against the Commandments as well?"

"When does one become Martian?" the Prophet replied. "Are they of this world when first they touch its surface? When first they see it in the skies of Earth, the devil-world of their birth? No, for were such the case even the Yu Knights would be of our kind. So long as they are still of Earth it matters not where they reside, they know not what it means to be of this world."

"I'm not certain I understand, was not it written that--"

"Who's the Prophet here?" And with that all doubt was erased. "They have come for Earth reasons, they answer to infidels on that world, they seek answers to the wrong questions. They look to Mars, a once dead world now coming to life, and wonder what has gone wrong. Perhaps they can be turned to the light and for that reason we shall refrain from destroying them. For now, anyway."

"The Prophet is wise," the Priestess said.

"F**kin' a."

"What means are we authorized to use to gather intel on them?" one of the Generals asked.

"Orbital scans, flyovers and scouts, whether robotic or otherwise. Avoid contact as much as possible for now, do not attack unless fired on first."

"So shall it be done."

"Just to err on the side of caution, increase killbot and weapons production to maximum capacity and prepare Olympus for total lockdown on a moment's notice. And proceed with Operation "Effrego Orbis Terrarum" as though we're committed. If they want to bring their misery and death to us we'll visit the same on their world. Now go, spy on them that we may one day extend the hand of peace and friendship or a large caliber rifle muzzle, whichever proves most appropriate."


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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#12 2005-03-14 07:58:45

Grypd
Member
From: Scotland, Europe
Registered: 2004-06-07
Posts: 1,879

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

The Dot got larger and larger until with a blast of VTOL Jets the Raptor UAV slowed to hover over the newly rebuilt Von Braun base. Some joker probably Meadows a die hard trek fan had painted the underside of the unarmed UAV with a bird of prey. As it landed, Damage could be seen to the wings and frame of the Biobot Raptor.

Science Chiefs Notes, 17th April, 2103.

Colonel Barkley believes we have landed in a Hornets nest and frankly I can only but agree. With Meadows basically working day and night we have managed to get the base up and running. And we have dug in for any siege we may get ourselves into. We are being watched but by whom we dont know. Two of our survey robots went up the valley and where destroyed by a sniper, so we know they are hostile. We have turned the Raptors which where atmospheric research into our eyes and ears and they tell us that there appear to be large armies moving around. We are safe here with the Diamond lasers able to destroy instantly anything that comes over the Horizon, but we are failing in our mission of research into Mars as long as we are stuck here.

To give ourselves a chance it has been decided by the scientific community at Colonels Barkleys request to develop a new set of Bio Robots to give us a chance, amazing what fear does to peoples principles. Bio Robots take the advantages that robots have and add the advantages that biology has, Real Frankenstien monsters as Dr Fields calls them. Still we have taken to arm the Raptors and develop more effective fighting Cyber units.

                                             Dr Gryphon


Chan eil mi aig a bheil ùidh ann an gleidheadh an status quo; Tha mi airson cur às e.

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#13 2005-03-14 13:07:16

Grypd
Member
From: Scotland, Europe
Registered: 2004-06-07
Posts: 1,879

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

System Active, Power:100%, Weapons:Online, System:Updating, Mission Parameters:Updating

In the foreground, in a cavern hanger partially dug out of Marian regolith and with a frame of steel, stands Colonel Barkley and Dr Gryphon. From a control panel Chief Meadows comes to join the group.

Activating External Recievers

Well there it is the most, the most effective weapon system to ever appear on Mars, the Avenger Smiles a rather content Dr Gryphon. I hope we know what we are doing, this thing frankly concerns meNoted Chief Meadows. We really dont have a choice, I only hope it does all it is billed as being capable of. Says Colonel Barkley with a frown. Oh, dont worry about that this is the best BioRob we are capable of making. It is fast, incredibly Armed and armoured. The Avengers power system uses any carbohydrate that it can consume and that is able to power both its Biological and robot side. It frankly outmatches anything this side of Earth. Beams a content Dr Gryphon. To this Chief Meadows stares and says in general Still did we really have to paint have a Nice Day under a big yellow smily face on its chest


Chan eil mi aig a bheil ùidh ann an gleidheadh an status quo; Tha mi airson cur às e.

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#14 2005-03-14 13:57:58

Trebuchet
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-04-26
Posts: 419

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Trebuchet's Journal, March 29, 2103

No reply has been received on any frequency from the new arrivals from Earth, and Lord Vlork has ceased hostilities against them. If they want to fight we may have to fight alone. I fear for the worst, and the colonists here are worried as well.

Addendum to Journal: Handed out beer and booze for free, we are much less worried now. We have agreed to fire a rocket from the Sergeant Pepper as a warning shot over their base.

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#15 2005-03-14 14:07:23

Cobra Commander
Member
From: The outskirts of Detroit.
Registered: 2002-04-09
Posts: 3,039

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

And lo, the invaders did come and take residence at Von Braun and there they did plot to bring war and misery unto the people. With their machines they built weapons and cyborgs of war. In defiance of their stated goals they did outfit their craft with arms and violate the airspace of sovereign states in which the faithful reside. Our emissaries did seek them out and watch, hopeful of their good nature, but they were attacked and did defend themselves. We have opened our hand in friendship, but as they seek only strife we shall smack the heinous evil from them.

As they labored in wickedness, sin built upon sin. In the most vile perversion they did construct bio-robots capable of sustaining themselves on the matter of life. Machines which eat as though alive, imitating life and consuming the means to sustain life while existing only to take life. An abomination they were and those who would create such vile and twisted beings show their evil intentions and corrupted souls.

And the Priests and Generals did report that the sanctuary of Olympus was secure from attack, that the catacombs did run deeper still, and the armies of the righteous did grow stronger with every hour. The High Priestess of Olympus did then report, having checked the alignments of the planets, that another month must pass before "Effrego Orbis Terrarum" could be enacted, should the need arise for Earth, home of Yu Knights and rabbits was obscured from view by chance and the movement of the celestial spheres. "May the need not arise, for while it is a wicked place we should have to atone for the act over the remainder of our lives."

The Generals did seek guidance as to how to proceed, and the Prophet did say unto them "As they have cast the die and the course is set, you are to send a legion of robot warriors to seek out their surrender and conversion. As they will not give it, you are also to dispatch as many of those friggin' ninjas we've been training for intelligence gathering and assassination. Should they be lost, release the mecha-dragons that they might be good for something other than decor, and should they still persist in belligerent heresy unleash the cleansing atomic fires for old times sake." And the faithful did consent and set about their tasks.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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#16 2005-03-14 14:40:28

Palomar
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2002-05-30
Posts: 9,734

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Dear Diary:

Lord Vlork claims to have ceased hostilities against we the cave dwellers of the Hellas Basin...

...only because he's frightened to know there is a double agent in his midst.  A double agent who is returning on our behalf.

<SWEET SMILE>

He won't be so conciliatory nor magnanimous once he learns the mission of the secret agent.

Then, he will likely fully and gleefully join forces with Trebuchet, Rik, etc.


We all know [i]those[/i] Venusians: Doing their hair in shock waves, smoking electrical coronas, wearing Van Allen belts and resting their tiny elbows on a Geiger counter...

--John Sladek (The New Apocrypha)

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#17 2005-03-14 17:41:53

Grypd
Member
From: Scotland, Europe
Registered: 2004-06-07
Posts: 1,879

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Mission Status:Active, Status:Nominal, Power:98%, Location 3.7km NNE of VonBraun Base

Moving across the desolation that is Mars, though now liberally sprinkled with the Greens and Browns the Avenger traveled. It had been sent out to target a Mortar bunker that had been attacking the base at VonBraun one of the attacks that seemed to start when the Diamond lasers had downed a missile that had been launched at VonBraun.
The Avenger now crept under its Chameleon Paint after the Incident with what appeared to be Mutant Rabbits with Steel teeth, They where now carcasses to be returned to the labs at VonBraun and as such where stored in a compartment of the Avenger.
Across a rile came two black armed robots and the Avenger entered combat mode and powered its weapons.

Target:Two Armed Automatic Combatants, Detection Possibility: 23%, Threat Matrix:14.1%, Mission Authorisation:Terminate

Before the Robots could even see the point of fire the Avenger activated its Railgun and both Robots where instantly incapacitated. The Avenger then loped in its speedy run away from the incident. Keeping down low in the rilles and never breaking the skyline the Avenger quickly made good ground. Uploading from memory of a Raptor 2 overflight it decided which way to travel. Crossing a boulder field the Avenger discovered an encampment of humans.

Target:14 Armed combatants, Detection possibility:3%, Threat Matrix:2.1%, Mission Authorisation:Evasion

Engaging Stealth mode the Avenger passed the Humans who seemed to be more engrossed in cleaning there primitive shotguns and silver cutlery. They never knew how close to fate they had come but the Avenger was designed to reduce "collateral" damage as much as possible. It closed with the target when it encountered an active sensor net.

Mission Priority:Engage,

The Avenger went to maximum speed and with the fire coming from strong points all across the front that the BioRobot had to cross it engaged its Jump Jets surprising the Yu Knights whose base this was. Activating its weapons the Avenger Used the Diamond laser set in its right fore finger to target individual Yu Knights and the Rail gun to take out the Hard points. Getting close to the Bunker the Avenger launched 2 Smart missiles to destroy the Target. With mission accomplished the Avenger turned to evasion mode leaving one more bunker on Mars.
It carried on away from VonBraun to confuse the enemy Yu Knights and traveled for 12 hours until the evasion programme was assured of success. On the Horizon a well repaired structure appeared. Activating telescopic mode the Avenger noted writing above the airlock enterance...The TempleBar, closer to the structure the Cyborg approached and through inbuilt vibration and motion detectors the Avenger noted and filed that there where many raised voices and loud music. A quick link in to the structures computer allowed the Avenger to enter the Airlock.
As the Air cycled, The Bar, conversation stilled, as the patrons, shocked at the appearance of the Avenger stepped back.

Target:32 Assorted Humans, Power:41%, Activating Speech Mode

You will not believe the Day I have been having, Do you have Beer and I dont suppose salted peanuts?


Chan eil mi aig a bheil ùidh ann an gleidheadh an status quo; Tha mi airson cur às e.

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#18 2005-03-14 17:49:20

Mad Grad Student
Member
From: Phoenix, Arizona, North Americ
Registered: 2003-11-09
Posts: 498
Website

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Mission Commander's Log, April 18, 2103:

Dr. Gryphon continues to insist that these crazy cyborgs are the best way to defend the base. I'm not so sure, but I figure they can't help, though to be perfectly honest they bug the crap out of me. Once again the engineering team has proven their worth, the base is fully online after only a little over a month. I've put security on 24-hour watch over the station, and I've been talking to Meadows on extending the complex underground. We have no idea what the bleep is going on here, so we ought to have a base at least as safe as those archaic missle silos from 140 years ago.

Did I say defending the base? Good greif, what a difference a month makes. 40 days ago no one could have possibly expected to see this invasion of rabbots and killer drones we've had. Our motives have shifted entirely from exploration to defense. Oh, well, I guess you have to be secure before you can explore.

I've decided to place the base on limited power use so that our batteries are 100% charged at all time. If we get a sudden spike in rabbot encounters, we'll be ready for it. I'm afraid it may hurt morale, but we'll all just have to make sacrifices. God, what I would give for a nice warm bubble bath. There's just no time anymore.
-Lt. Col. Tiffany Barkley

Mayflower-2 LAN e-mail:
From: TBarkley@olympus.net
To: DGryphon@olympus.net
CC: JMeadows@olympus.net, VPatel@antares.net
Subject: Rabbots, Robots, Formalities
Body:
Dr. Gryphon, I would like to know how much longer you intend to deploy the cyborgs. With the radio transmissions coming from Chyrse we know that there's someone out there with similar technology who could potentially mess with your code and turn them against us. Plus, they're probably a surefire way to tick off the locals, so please only deploy them as long as you feel necessary.

I would like to try to make contact with the Chrysians as soon as possible, so please prepare our ham radio transmitter asap. Also, I know that someone here must speak either French or Dutch; if you know anyone who can translate those poorly-sung show tunes I'd greatly appriciate it. We have to get into their minds, figure out what they want, before we can fend them off. And can someone please tell me what in the world is happening around Olympus Mons?

It is critical that we get a solid defense network up right now, so please don't let anything deter you from accomplishing that. I know I've been pushing everyone lately but you're all doing wonderfully and I promise that as soon as we get the caves hollowed out and pressurized and the refinery up to level two capacity you'll get a break. Just stay with me these next two or three weeks.

One more thing, enough with the formalities. I realize that this is a military/governmental program, but guess what, they're not here. We need any morale boost we can get, and formalities certainly don't help, so I'm ending the dress code (unless you go outside of course :;): ) and this stupid military ranking system. Tiffany or Tiffy will be fine in the future. Enough with "Col. Barkley," for now. We're on an alien planet, the last thing I want anyone dealing with is paperwork and a ranking system. Leave the paperwork to me when quarterly report time comes around in May. smile
-Tiffy


A mind is like a parachute- it works best when open.

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#19 2005-03-14 18:57:32

Trebuchet
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-04-26
Posts: 419

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Trebuchet stared, as did everyone else in the bar, at the stranger who rolled into town. He could have sworn a tumbleweed rolled by outside.

"We don't get many strangers here, stranger," Trebuchet said, before thinking about how awkward that sounded. "Beer we have... salted peanuts we don't."

"Got some mighty fine potato chips, though," one of the regulars said.

Trebuchet slid across a mug of Phobos Red to the newcomer and a bowl of chips. "On the house", he said, figuring that it was easier to get information on the new colonists from a drunk... whatever the hell that was... than otherwise.

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#20 2005-03-14 19:43:51

Palomar
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2002-05-30
Posts: 9,734

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

"Got some mighty fine potato chips, though," one of the regulars said.

Trebuchet slid across a mug of Phobos Red to the newcomer and a bowl of chips.

*Mmmmm...potato chips.  smile  Can I have some?  It's been a long time. 

Are they flavored with Marsian sea salt? 

Wait...aren't you the person who wanted to have my people and I forcibly expelled from the Hellas Cave Complex.  ???  And at rabbit point?

::dashes back to the caves::


We all know [i]those[/i] Venusians: Doing their hair in shock waves, smoking electrical coronas, wearing Van Allen belts and resting their tiny elbows on a Geiger counter...

--John Sladek (The New Apocrypha)

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#21 2005-03-14 20:13:22

Trebuchet
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-04-26
Posts: 419

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Trebuchet's Log, March 39 2103, Entry Two

It seems that the new arrivals might not be as hostile as previously expected. We also have information that the Hellas colonists have mistaken my drunken ramblings for informed policy. A diplomatic team is being NIMFed out to the Sergeant Pepper to offer our peace offering. I am informed that they are woefully understocked with potato chips, pretzels, and beer, without which no civilized society can survive. I hope that they accept our peace offering in the spirit in which it was intended. We need unity in the face of the threat from Earth.

Note to self, it might be cheaper to establish a salt works there, too, rather than refining it from dried lake beds hereabouts.

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#22 2005-03-15 06:18:54

Grypd
Member
From: Scotland, Europe
Registered: 2004-06-07
Posts: 1,879

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

Science Chief Notes, 25th April 2103

Apart from that Early dose of conflict it seems to have gone all quiet again. It may be that our quick armed response has given us the respect that we need to survive here. We also have managed to get in contact with some of the original settlers and they seem willing to coexist and engage in limited trade. This is good especially with our shortages of Earth derived materials beginning to bite. We simply have run out of alcahol, so thank god for Phobos Red.

The base continues to grow in leaps and bounds but energy is the problem we now face we simply cannot generate enough and keep the Diamond lasers fully charged. I have envisaged a modest Hydro electric facility using the flowing Shenadoah river. But another potential power source has also been found.

Digging in at what was the old base discovered what appears to be a large cavern of S##t. It seems the original base staff stole that much of the bases plumbing that all the effluent had to go somewhere and over the years it has slowly fermented. Embarassingly the cavern was under quite a bit of pressure and we have had to flare off the methane regularily. Unfortunatly the flare pipe was located between two prefab oval domes, we have seen the satelite views of our base and it does actually look like a pair of massive bum cheeks and we are lighting our......

I can only hope that the people back on Earth dont take it as an insult....

                                 Dr Gryphon


Chan eil mi aig a bheil ùidh ann an gleidheadh an status quo; Tha mi airson cur às e.

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#23 2005-03-15 06:54:33

Cobra Commander
Member
From: The outskirts of Detroit.
Registered: 2002-04-09
Posts: 3,039

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

The Earthers and their cyborg abominations did continue building upon the land though they did begin on the path of redemption by destroying a group of Yu Knights, yet still bore the sin of destroying two killbots though older models they were. Their leader, a Colonel Barkley, did exert pressure on the more militant of their colony knowing that aggression would be met with war from the peoples of Mars.

And so it came to pass that a detachment of peace negotiators were dispatched to meet with the infidels, and on arriving at a forward base on the outskirts of Von Braun they did request an audience, and none answered. They then let themselves in upon which they were greeted by a hostile abomination, which they destroyed. Though they were triumphant, two of the faithful fell and the rest were left in a mood disagreeable to reconciliation. Upon searching they did find a lone systems analyst hiding in an equipment locker, and to him they did explain the need to end the warring that has plagued Mars since the first colonists arrived, and the terrible retribution that will result should the call not be heeded. Having thus spoken to all who were present, they did download all data in the base computers, gut the fallen cyborg's control systems, and left the complex in essentially the same condition as it was found. Sorry about the door.

Inset illustration:

march2.jpg


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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#24 2005-03-15 07:11:59

Palomar
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2002-05-30
Posts: 9,734

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

OH!

The glo-rox exploded.

The pain...the pain...

{{dizzy, collapses onto cave floor, heart palpitations, breaks out in sweat}}

Shadows, excited and frightened, mill around me.  The light is fading...

{{gray blurs into black}}

The Hellas Basin has lost one of its own.  She had a big heart and her feet were a bit on the "largish" side for a woman of her build, and she was oh-so-anxious to see what lay further within the cave complex.  R.I.P.


We all know [i]those[/i] Venusians: Doing their hair in shock waves, smoking electrical coronas, wearing Van Allen belts and resting their tiny elbows on a Geiger counter...

--John Sladek (The New Apocrypha)

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#25 2005-03-15 13:57:37

Cobra Commander
Member
From: The outskirts of Detroit.
Registered: 2002-04-09
Posts: 3,039

Re: You're a 1st martian Settler II - Continued from the previous madness

And so it was that word reached Olympus of the untimely demise of Cindy, defender of rabbits and recent dweller of the Hellas caves. The Prophet, despite years of intermittent conflict and that whole rabbit thing as well as a nagging suspicion of the report's accuracy, was sorrowful, for under her leadership the Prophet was certain the people of Hellas would not attack, and could ignore them.

Yet always one to make the best of things, the Prophet did say unto the people "Now we shall reclaim Hellas, flooded by our efforts and made temperate, for we have need of its waters. We shall march an army from the highest point of Mars to the lowest, and they shall bring with them drilling machines and great pumps with which to divert the water, and with the cleansing waters we shall flood the caves of the heathens and the excrement filled tunnels below the old city. Though far it may be, we have done greater deeds than this and for lesser purpose." And with this the people did prepare, for the time had come not only to reclaim Hellas but secure the dominion of the faithful across all the land. So did the journey of many days begin, to be followed by weeks of drilling and digging and much tribulation, but one gets used to such things. Besides, it's not as though the Prophet himself were going, other matters needed attending to.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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