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This topic is offered for members to consider the complexity of human relationships.
I'll lead off this new topic with an extraordinary report by RobertDyck, as originally posted in another topic.
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I should report, that for the last few months I've tried to find a girlfriend. The lady I spent time last year broke up with me in March 2021. Her reason is I didn't take time off work to fix her computer. She had changed the password on her laptop, I had taken 2 days off work to try to fix it, but her laptop was locked down with new technology, my tools had difficulty. I had work collecting the census, but taking another day off work on a Monday is not something I was willing to do. Months later she phoned to chat with increasing frequency. She wanted to get back together, but no sex, just meeting for coffee or lunch. Later she didn't want to meet in person, just a voice on the phone and text through Facebook. That's when I decided to create profiles on a few dating websites. It's been an adventure, there are a lot of scams out there. One website I paid for a premium membership, but never got a reply to any message I sent. It became evident that profiles were copied from other dating websites, there's no one here, the whole site is a scam. One lady flirted, until I asked for a video chat. She said her computer couldn't do it, she wanted me to give her money for a new video card so she could do video chat. I told her to just use her smartphone, but she said no. So she sent a scanned image of her driver's license. I didn't ask for ID, she just volunteered it instead of video chat. At first glance it looked Ok, but why was the background around her picture blurry? There's supposed to be a government graphic around your profile picture, so prove it hasn't been altered. So I looked up a North Caroline driver license is supposed to look like. Yes, there were 3 copies of her picture, right size and in the right places, the smallest black-and-white, but again the background is not supposed to be blurry. Birth date in two places, but the second one was the wrong font and wrong text colour. Then I noticed her signature under her picture was a completely different name than the text name on her license. Was this produced by a millennial who never learned to read "cursive"? Then I notice her driver license number was exactly the same as Jane Doe in the sample. Uh huh! Fake! And I told the woman she was a fake, go away. Then I noticed one of the pictures she sent earlier had a logo in the lower-left corner. You couldn't see it when viewing the picture on a smartphone, but could on a PC. When I zoomed in, it was OnlyFans and included the account name. When I looked at that website, I found all the pictures that were sent to me. The profile said she doesn't do nudes any more, but all her old nude pictures are archived for anyone who wants to look. So the person I was chatting with wasn't her, just someone who stole pictures from this website.
Another woman said she wanted to just "hook up". Her profile claimed to be 30, but her pictures looked 22. In chat she claimed she's a brand influencer. Ok, then I should be able to do a Google Image search for her profile picture. I did, and found her. Her dating profile had an initial, but the celebrity profile I found had her full last name, and links to her Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and TicTok. The celebrity profile had her full birth date, so she's 22. I said she looked 22; nailed it! She said she has enough money to travel, and wanted to meet somewhere for a vacation, asked where I would like to go. Ok, so I suggested she come here. She pays for her own airfare, I'll pay for everything once she's here. But then she asked me to send money for her airfare. Oh... so it starts. So I asked for a video chat, to ensure I was actually talking to her. She got upset, claiming I would want her ID next. I said no, and mentioned I found her online. She got upset that I found her Instagram. Why? So I looked more closely. I found all the pictures she sent to me; all except the topless one. Then I noticed a link at the top of her Instagram to another website. When I followed that, it was ManyVids, with nude videos. Many of the videos had a logo for PornHUB. And a link for OnlyFans. Oh... I'm not sure I want to be with someone who does porn. I sent a message to her Instagram to see if it's really her. She responded on the text app we were using. So it may have actually been her, but something was wrong. Anyway, she asked me to stop texting her.
Through the dating website for serious relationships, I received hundreds of responses, but mostly from women in USA. Some from all over the world, but none from my city or province. One lady claimed to be from Toronto, but her description of herself didn't quite match her picture. Then she claimed to have travelled to Paris France, a mugger took her debit card and forced her to give up PIN number. She didn't have any money to get home. Uh huh! And I have a bridge to sell in Brooklyn. That's one of the classic scams.
Many ladies refuse to fill in their location. When I asked one lady to fill in her location, she asked where I am. She claimed to live in the same city. Uh huh, suspicious. Then said she just wants to be friends with benefits. But before I could respond, she said is married with 2 children, but her husband is out of the city for 4 months for work. In her words, she wants someone to f*** when she wants to f***. Yes, she used the asterisks. I'm not going to do that, and said so. So she created another profile, same first name but a number instead of her last name, and same profile picture. So I asked if she's still looking to cheat on her husband. No response. Then a third profile, same first name and different picture, but obviously the same woman. So I asked to meet, thinking I would take her phone and call her husband. But no response. Then a 4th profile, different name and picture, but obviously from the picture the same woman. this time she claimed to be in California, but her phone number starts with an area code for a different state. Then another profile, same first name as the first profile, different picture but wearing the same outfit as the first profile.
But I did seem to get along with 2 ladies. Both wanted to get serious, and move up to Canada to live with me. One from Texas, claimed her father was from Texas but her mother lives in Ghana. She has brothers who live with her mother in Ghana, but she lived with her father until adulthood. If that's the case, she should be black, so why did her profile picture look hispanic? If her father was hispanic, then she should still be half black. Saw several YouTube videos about romance scams. One recommendation was to do a Google Image search on her profile. Got a hit; she's a porn star. Lots of porn videos, and all profile pictures are from porn sites. One wearing a nice dress, but the porn site has the exact same picture, but then more pictures with her top pulled down to reveal her tits, skirt hiked up to reveal her pussy. When I challenged her about this, she at first tried to deny it. So I sent links to two porn sites where her profile pictures came from. One website described the porn actress real name, birth date, name of her husband and year married, and name she performs under. So the woman I was texting with admitted that isn't her. She sent pictures of what she really looks like. A great big fat black woman. Uh huh! At least she doesn't do porn, but that's a hard no.
So that leaves a 36-year-old woman from Missouri. An immigrant from Finland, and wanted money to pay her lawyer for a court hearing to resolve an issue over her green card. Oh... money. But we had chatted with text for 2 months. I said no, but she whined and, well, wore me down. I shouldn't have, but sent $1500 in US funds. She claimed the court hearing was successful, she got her green card, but it'll take 8 weeks to arrive. Then she claimed her lawyer wants money for past work, when they tried to deport her. Wait, if she was sponsored by her uncle as a family member, then why would they deport her? She claimed she filed as a refugee. But again, if her uncle sponsored her, then she's not a refugee. What? So now her lawyer wants $3800 more, and is holding her passport from Finland until he gets it. She needs ID to enter Canada. I looked up the rules, she could enter with a birth certificate. When I told her this, she said her lawyer is holding that too. She didn't mention that earlier. So I said I can't send any more money until she gets here. She could enter Canada using her green card, but will have to wait until that arrives. She doesn't want to wait. I offered to have a friend drive her car up to Canada, then I could hold her car as collateral. She didn't say no exactly, because it would mean her car would be here for her own use once she gets here. I didn't ask to transfer ownership, just ensure she gets here. But she said she would talk to her uncle. She didn't want to bring him into this. But if she was sponsored by him, he should have been brought in right away. Another complication is she says the lawyer wants her. She's the one who initiated contact with me via the dating website. She claims she showed a picture of me to the lawyer. He called her an ingrate. But he didn't do his work pro-bono. We'll see what happens.
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For RobertDyck re #2
It is not my place to comment one way or the other.
Instead, I offer thanks for providing this (to me remarkable) report on the modern dating scene, and best wishes for a resolution that costs less and produces more.
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