Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

Christina · 2003-12-20 06:16:31

The prospectus for a series of Man-Training Evening Classes in
the New Year:

1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.

2. Lavatory paper rolls: Do they grow on the holders? Round table discussion.

3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and graphics.

4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into kitchen sink? Examples on video.

5. Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other. Help line and support groups.

6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.

7. Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and audio tape.

8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.

9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
Driving simulation.

10. Learning to live: Basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing.

11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.

~Eternal~ · 2003-12-20 09:56:54

o-o Oddly enough all of that comes natural to me.

Josh Cryer · 2003-12-20 12:57:22

I'm pretty good at all of those except:

Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
Driving simulation.

clark · 2003-12-22 10:48:51

Christina, very funny. :laugh: I wonder if perhaps some of the women of New Mars might be found in some of these classes?

The prospectus for a series of WO-Man-Training Evening Classes in
the New Year:

1. Shoe-buyer's Anonymous. Support group, "taking it one day at a time while coping with loss".

2. Can you use the rear view mirror for anything but makeup maintenance? Driving simulation.

3. Sweaters: Which one makes you look fat? Roundtable discussion.

4. Hair watch: Your hair, him, and why he doesn't care. Help line and support groups.

5. Learning how not to set up your single friends with his single friends. Pictures and graphics.

6. Real women admit when they are wrong. Real-life testimonials.

7. Organizing your make-up bag and you. Step by step with slide presentation.

8. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Ball gags, blindfolds, and earplugs.

9. Learning to talk: Learning to understand he means exactly what he said, not what you think he meant. Online class and role-playing.

10. The bathroom: Can you actually go alone? Examples on video.

11. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while he watches the game? Open forum.

12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: Living without the advice of Oprah, Dr. Phil, Martha Stewart, Dear Ann, or The View. Hand crafted coffee cups with uplifting messages of spiritual empowerment will be provided to help get you through the first few days.

Josh Cryer · 2003-12-22 13:15:27

Have you heard the theory that hetrosexuality is imposed upon women? Mwha.

Aetius · 2003-12-22 16:48:53

Sounds like Andrea Dworkin, or some other man-hater. We men sure do a good job of brainwashing women into thinking we're sexually desirable. Besides, I've seen lesbian relationships go bad. Women emotionally scar each other in those situations, ten times worse than a man ever could.

They're better off with us, most of the time.

Christina and Clark, those really made me laugh. Thanks.

Aetius · 2003-12-22 16:51:11

Josh, I think there are a few movies on the Playboy Channel which examine that "theory" in detail.

Most of them take place in jail.

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#1 2003-12-20 06:16:31

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

#2 2003-12-20 09:56:54

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

#3 2003-12-20 12:57:22

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

#4 2003-12-22 10:48:51

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

#5 2003-12-22 13:15:27

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

#6 2003-12-22 16:48:53

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

#7 2003-12-22 16:51:11

Re: Man-Training Evening Classes - pick the course you need the most

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