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Palomar

Member

From: USA

Registered: 2002-05-30

Posts: 9,734

Re: Selfish Motives - (...while we're twiddling our thumbs)

*Okay folks, while we're waiting for the recent batch of probes to get to Mars and start returning data, I have a question.   

A few years ago, while online, I encountered a person who believes everything anyone does has a selfish motive behind it.  Totally. 

Also, that there is no such thing as altruism, because any so-called altruistic act is really a selfish maneuver which brings attention, praise, and recognition (the selfish motive) on the so-called altruistic person.

I have to admit that person's attitude really gave me pause to think, to re-examine interactions, re-examine my own motives, etc.  It was definitely an intense and somewhat disturbing thing to consider, and one of the greatest speed-bumps my brain has yet encountered.

I'm inclined to think many of our actions are selfish in orientation, but certainly not entirely.  I think of the parent who will sacrifice limb and even life in crisis situations, in order to preserve the health and life of a child.  Or for a spouse, parent, etc.  Also, in stranger crisis situations, such as during earthquakes, tornadoes, etc., many people often demonstrate a willingness to put themselves in danger to rescue someone else -- on the spur of the moment, and with few or no witnesses around.

What do you think?

--Cindy

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We all know [i]those[/i] Venusians: Doing their hair in shock waves, smoking electrical coronas, wearing Van Allen belts and resting their tiny elbows on a Geiger counter...

--John Sladek (The New Apocrypha)

Ian Flint

Member

From: Colorado

Registered: 2003-09-24

Posts: 437

Re: Selfish Motives - (...while we're twiddling our thumbs)

Here's a little story I heard once that may or may not be true.  It's a real tear jerker, though.

A beautiful baby boy was born to loving parents.  There was only one flaw -- he had no ears.  The doctors assured the parents that he could hear just fine, but for some reason the external parts of his ears didn't develope.

The parents agonized over the life their son would live with no ears.  Thoughts of all the teasings and strange looks he would receive just tore them apart.  They asked doctor after doctor if there was anything anyone could do to help their baby.  Finally, they met a doctor who was willing to try a new experimental procedure.  If they could find a donor they could transplant someone else's ears onto their baby.

They found a donor and the boy grew up normally, never knowing who his benifactor was.  After a happy childhood he went off to college, became a successful businessman, and found the love of his life.  He married and soon had children of his own.  The knowledge that his ears were given him by some stranger had long been pushed to the back of his mind and nearly forgotten.

One day his aging father called saying his mother had finally passed away at the age of 87.  At her funeral the son went to see his mother for one last time.  He had brought a yellow carnation for her, her favorite flower.  As he put it in her hair he noticed something odd.  Brushing her hair back he could find no ears.

During the rest of the funeral he kept remembering scenes from his youth.  His mother had always worn an old fashioned hairstyle that curled low on the sides.  Not once did he ever remember her changing that style.  He couldn't remember ever seeing her ears.

After the funeral he asked his father about it.  "She wanted to keep it a secret," was all he said.

Pure love is the only thing that can overcome selfishness.

Free Spirit

Member

Registered: 2003-06-12

Posts: 167

Re: Selfish Motives - (...while we're twiddling our thumbs)

I believe that most of our actions are motivated out of selfish concerns even though that word 'selfish' is so loaded we can't help but associate it with excessive greed and taking at the dentriment of others.  I believe 'selfishness' can be asset to society if people believe that the best way to help themselves survive is to help others.  I believe selfishness takes on an evil dimension when it's used as a competitive measure to deprive others and justify excessive materialism.  Unfortunately the lopsided focus on individualism and money in our society produces the latter type of selfishness.

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My people don't call themselves Sioux or Dakota.  We call ourselves Ikce Wicasa, the natural humans, the free, wild, common people.  I am pleased to call myself that.  -Lame Deer

Christina

Member

From: UK

Registered: 2002-05-07

Posts: 59

Re: Selfish Motives - (...while we're twiddling our thumbs)

It has become fashionable to refuse to accept that anyone can do anything without an ulterior motive. Which is an awful shame, and very insulting to the millions of decent folk who give up time and energy to do charitable works simply because they believe that is the right thing to do.

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[i]the early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese[/i]