Apropos of Nothing

Palomar · 2003-10-07 17:09:18

Cindy and clark are almost always here.

*Cindy is really a siamese-tabby mix 2-year-old cat posing as a human female.

--Cindy (whose REAL name is "Radar" -- meow!)

Cats rule, humans drool!

clark · 2003-10-07 18:44:43

now, that's funny.

Josh Cryer · 2003-10-07 19:15:01

I don't like the userlist giving me away, but then I realize that I'm one of the only people who is anonymous and also a regular, so in actuality, it does.

Non-conformity!

clark · 2003-10-08 09:32:39

Ah, the anonymous suggestion box in a company of two people.

dickbill · 2003-10-08 11:10:53

I suggest that the Mars Society, officially, put a law suit against Val Kilmer because of what he said in his movie "Red Planet".
For those who forgot, Mr Kilmer said at the end of the movie, when he escapes form Mars : "I hate this planet, f' this planet (and he uses his finger ! yes ! )"

This gonna give a bad impression of Mars for the sensitive young people who watched the movie and now believe that Mars is not an hospitable planet, and destroy their faith in further Mars exploration. They might also think that NASA design ALL its robots with a "combat mode" (like Amy the naughty robot) and that when the first woman astronaut land on Mars, "Pathfinder", in stand-by since 1998, suddenly activates its combat mode to sexually assault the unfortunate astronaut.

I cannot imagine how many hearts and potential passions have been broken during this unfortunate moment at the end of "Red Planet". (Did you cry Cindy ?)

Val Kilmer, shame on you, unless you adhere to the MArs Society and beg for Pardon, or make another movie about MArs, We will be restless to ask for reparation.

Palomar · 2003-10-08 12:12:28

dickbill: "I suggest that the Mars Society, officially, put a law suit against Val Kilmer because of what he said in his movie "Red Planet".
For those who forgot, Mr Kilmer said at the end of the movie, when he escapes form Mars : "I hate this planet, f' this planet (and he uses his finger ! yes ! )"

*Gasp! For shame! Shame on you, Mr. Kilmer! You...you...you OVER-ACTOR!

dickbill: "This gonna give a bad impression of Mars for the sensitive young people who watched the movie and now believe that Mars is not an hospitable planet, and destroy their faith in further Mars exploration."

*You never know, though. It might have just the opposite effect: Ban a book or album, and everyone wants it. Kilmer's attitude may provoke a reaction of "Oh YEAH? And just what the hell does HE know about it?!"

dickbill: "They might also think that NASA design ALL its robots with a "combat mode" (like Amy the naughty robot) and that when the first woman astronaut land on Mars, "Pathfinder", in stand-by since 1998, suddenly activates its combat mode to sexually assault the unfortunate astronaut."

*Whoa. What have you been drinking/smoking, dickbill? Picture yourself on a boat by a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies?

dickbill: "I cannot imagine how many hearts and potential passions have been broken during this unfortunate moment at the end of "Red Planet". (Did you cry Cindy ?)"

*I've not seen "Red Planet" (believe it or not). I do cry when VGER and Captain Decker merge their Beings into One at the end of "Star Trek: The Motion Picture." Now THAT is beautiful -- evolution!

dickbill: "Val Kilmer, shame on you, unless you adhere to the MArs Society and beg for Pardon, or make another movie about MArs, We will be restless to ask for reparation."

*Hmmmm. Maybe we should all get together and go picket the Hollywood studio which made this film. :laugh:

--Cindy

dickbill · 2003-10-08 13:35:57

dickbill: "They might also think that NASA design ALL its robots with a "combat mode" (like Amy the naughty robot) and that when the first woman astronaut land on Mars, "Pathfinder", in stand-by since 1998, suddenly activates its combat mode to sexually assault the unfortunate astronaut."
*Whoa. What have you been drinking/smoking, dickbill? Picture yourself on a boat by a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies?

You shouldn't make fun of that Cindy, NASA robots, when they enter in "combat mode" can be very destructive.

You havn't seen the movie, so I need to explain a little bit:

With the crew in the space ship ((bad guy, nice/handsome guy (guess who) , wise guy, babe, nice but simple guy (future victim), selfish scientist)) there is also a Robot, named Amy. Amy has been build, I guess by NASA ?, after the "reelection" of Dubya III, Rummy is now head of the NASA instead of the Pentagon, so now NASA always integrates a "killer/combat mode" in its exploration robots. Because it's always useful to have a killer robot with you. Unfortunatly after the landing on MArs, a bit rough, Amy has been shaked and one of the crew (the scientist) pronounce the word "kill" ( I am not sure to remember the exact word, it was something like that). This word activates Amy, which instantaneously enters into combat mode, activates its karate/ju tsu interface and punch the stupid scientist in the chest...well done !

The problem is that we don't know what other words activate the "combat mode" in the NASA robots, so better talk politely to Pathfinder and the rovers if you meet them one day.

PS: I bet the robots on the moon can be activated in Combat Mode as soon as they can hear chinese or when their sensors can smell the odor of fried chicken feet or vodka. We gonna know soon.

Palomar · 2003-10-08 13:50:34

dickbill: "....nice but simple guy (future victim),"

*LOL! Teehee, I needed that.

dickbill: "Rummy is now head of the NASA instead of the Pentagon,

*Maybe because Rummy is now spatting with Dubya behind the scenes? Check out the latest headlines...

dickbill: "so now NASA always integrates a "killer/combat mode" in its exploration robots. Because it's always useful to have a killer robot with you. Unfortunatly after the landing on MArs, a bit rough, Amy has been shaked and one of the crew (the scientist) pronounce the word "kill" ( I am not sure to remember the exact word, it was something like that). This word activates Amy, which instantaneously enters into combat mode, activates its karate/ju tsu interface and punch the stupid scientist in the chest...well done !"

*Geez. Now you've got me interested. Sure: When the humans won't flip out, a robot has got to! My favorite robot fiend is the android (can't recall his name) in "Alien." Especially after he's been zapped by Ripley, and is spitting a milk-like fluid (robot blood?) while trying to talk.

dickbill: "I bet the robots on the moon can be activated in Combat Mode as soon as they can hear chinese or when their sensors can smell the odor of fried chicken feet or vodka. We gonna know soon."

*LOL.

--Cindy

clark · 2003-10-09 09:32:48

Do robots dream of electric sheep?

Palomar · 2003-10-09 11:31:18

...and yet MORE outrage on the way?

*Redneckopoly next...wow, I can just hear the ensuing outrage already.

But hey, if this guy is targeting EVERYONE...Hmmmm.

--Cindy

Palomar · 2003-10-09 11:53:40

...uh oh...

"Hello, Martha? Yeah, it's me -- Peggy. I'm here in a PUBLIC AREA talking REALLY LOUD over my CELL PHONE like usual. I don't care if this DISRUPTS other face-to-face conversations or ANNOYS anyone. Nope, I figure MY conversations are REALLY INTERESTING and EVERYONE SHOULD BE HANGING ON THE EDGES OF THEIR CHAIRS, listening to my EVERY WORD, so...."

KA-BOOM!!

Actually, it's unfortunate people are getting hurt. But I wouldn't mind most cell phones exploding when their users are at a safe distance away...

--Cindy

Palomar · 2003-10-10 05:42:06

*Got this in my e-mail. I think "Vanilla w/Chocolate Icing" means vanilla CAKE with chocolate icing, but I'm not the person who typed this up and started passing it around. I also kind of doubt this little "test" was dreamed up by psychiatrists, but who knows. My choice would be a brownie:

---

No cheating. Pick your dessert, then look to see what psychiatrists
think
about you!

After taking this dessert personality test, send this e-mail on to
others,
but when you do, be sure to put your choice of dessert in the
subject box above.

ALSO, SEND IT TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU!

If you were making a dessert and you had your choice of those below
(or some great bakery was baking the dessert of your choice), which
would you choose?

Angel food

Brownies

Lemon Meringue

Vanilla with Chocolate. Icing

Strawberry Short Cake

Chocolate on Chocolate

Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

NO ... You can't change your mind once you scroll down! So think
carefully, what your choice will be!

************************************************************************
****

******************
OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says
about you!

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy
items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at
the
end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at
times

Brownies... You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of
underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip
out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of
humor
and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you
are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try
to
walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but
you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not
very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone
enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should
be
cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake ... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about
other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You
can
be overly emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive.
Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold
exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances.
Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football,
basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but
you
enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control.
You
tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh.
You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a
very
warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal
friends.

clark · 2003-10-10 09:44:11

What does it mean if you are diabetic?

Palomar · 2003-10-10 11:47:42

What does it mean if you are diabetic?

*LOL! That's a good question. Hmmmmm. I guess the (supposed) psychiatrists who cooked up the little "dessert and personality" chart will have to come up with Splenda or Nutrasweet alternatives.

--Cindy

clark · 2003-10-10 11:56:38

Personally, personality is personal.

Palomar · 2003-10-10 12:20:35

Pat Robertson wants U.S. site nuked?

*Hmmmmmmmm.

I wonder if Cocoa Puffs is his favorite breakfast cereal?

--Cindy :laugh:

clark · 2003-10-10 13:17:06

Astrology determines your personality based on the motions of the stars.

What is this, food-ology? :laugh:

Palomar · 2003-10-12 21:14:10

*The Nuge Strikes Again:

Posted: October 7, 2003
1:00 a.m. Eastern

? 2003 WorldNetDaily.com

Ted Nugent, rock musician, avid outdoorsman and defender of gun rights, has
come out in support of "Gun Nut" ice cream, a new flavor unveiled by a
company billing itself as "the conservative alternative to liberal Ben &
Jerry's."

Star Spangled Ice Cream Company announced the new partnership yesterday in a
statement.

"Star Spangled Ice Cream, the ice cream with a conservative flavor, is proud
that Ted Nugent had endorsed our newest politically incorrect flavor, Gun
Nut," said company Vice President Richard Lessner. "Ted Nugent is a great
defender of the people's right to bear arms. We believe Gun Nut is a perfect
complement to the wild-game recipes in Ted's best-selling cookbook, 'Kill It
and Grill It.'"

Nugent recently made news with the announcement of a new reality TV show,
"Surviving Nugent," where contestants test their endurance while living off
the land on the rocker's rural spread.

"This ice cream is awesome!" Nugent is quoted as saying on the company's
website. "After I kill it and grill it, I plan to finish my feast with a
bowl of Gun Nut!"

The new flavor is described as "coconut almond chip."

According to the statement, the company has partnered with Nugent and Gun
Owners of America in the promotion of Gun Nut. The firm plans to donate $1
from the sale of each quart of Gun Nut to the educational work of the Gun
Owners Foundation Gun Safety Project. Nugent, who heads United Sportsmen of
America, works closely with GOA.

Star Spangled Ice Cream Company sells its product via its website. Besides
Gun Nut, flavors include I Hate the French Vanilla, Nutty Environmentalist,
Iraqi Road and Smaller Govern-mint. Star Spangled donates 10 percent of the
profits from the sale of its original four flavors to charities supporting
the U.S. Armed Forces.

In the statement, the company made a point to note who was not endorsing the
new ice cream flavor: "Among the celebrity non-endorsers of Gun Nut are
Barbra Streisand, Rosie O'Donnell, Alec Baldwin, Al Franken, Al Gore,
Michael Moore and the Dixie Chicks."

--Cindy

clark · 2003-10-13 09:27:28

no one cries, the day the sock puppet dies.

dicktice · 2003-10-13 17:14:43

Cindy: I've located my friend Bob Cunningham's (he of "Jody's Song") poems about hearing aids, which we both are forced to wear so as not to drive our long suffering friends who can still hear well crazy when we converse--hey?

Bob's Song

One of medicine's ploys
Is the hearing aid
For ears dismayed
By assault of noise.
The baleful din
That they bring in
Shatters poise.

The morning stroll
Is a bout with sound
Drawn from around
In waves that roll
Down from the trees
Urged by the breeze
To exact a toll.

Howls and barks,
Thunder claps,
Bomb blasts, perhaps,
Shrieks from larks
One can hardly see
Snide as can be
With sour remarks.

Out on the road,
With sounds terrifying,
Whining and crying,
Cars act like they're owed
Respect and applause
For the discord thay cause
And disquiet sowed.

The last affront looms
With laid-back critics
Judging sound without lyrics
Consisting mainly of booms,
The rhyme of the car
One beat to the bar
Rhythm that dooms.

Dick's Song

I must turn up my hearing aid
I see a heavenly body near
And the dainty voice of any maid
Is thrilling in my ear.

I turn down my aid for Bob
And all old men at Joe's
Attending them is a tiresome job
Time out, a dullard knows.

My hearing aid is a friend to me:
I can shut it out so I can bear
With thoughts that arise internally
Expressed in words beyond compare.

Intelligence is born within;
It cannot enter through a door;
so, I tune out all incoming din
And listen to outgoing lore.

I lay aside my friend at night.
You'd think I'd be forlorn;
But No! My dreams are ever bright,
Treating mundane life with scorn!

I'm happy with my hearing aid,
Without it I would fare
Under mounds of verbal garbage
Which now I can forbear!

A word of explaination: A group of us old codgers get together every a.m. at Joe's Food Emporium for coffee and a half-hour's return to reliving our boyhoods and various wars, before splitting and going about our entirely separate ways.

Palomar · 2003-10-14 05:25:44

Cindy: I've located my friend Bob Cunningham's (he of "Jody's Song") poems about hearing aids, which we both are forced to wear so as not to drive our long suffering friends who can still hear well crazy when we converse--hey?
Bob's Song
One of medicine's ploys
Is the hearing aid
For ears dismayed
By assault of noise.
The baleful din
That they bring in
Shatters poise...
Dick's Song
I must turn up my hearing aid
I see a heavenly body near
And the dainty voice of any maid
Is thrilling in my ear.
I turn down my aid for Bob
And all old men at Joe's
Attending them is a tiresome job
Time out, a dullard knows...
A word of explaination: A group of us old codgers get together every a.m. at Joe's Food Emporium for coffee and a half-hour's return to reliving our boyhoods and various wars, before splitting and going about our entirely separate ways.

*Oh dicktice, those are very interesting and amusing poems. Fresh insights for a person who has not had to wear them, like getting a peek down the tunnel of time.

You said in your most previous post regarding your friend Bob, that he'd write a poem upon request. Well, here's an idea (somewhat relative to those you've posted, i.e. relating to getting older):

First gray hairs. Then those first gray hairs increasing in number until they've filled a head.

My sister and friends began graying at age 36. However, I didn't pluck my first gray hair until the month in which I turned 38 (this past May). Well, I did pull a gray hair when I was 19 (which was startling at the time, and brought on unfounded -- as it turned out -- concerns of premature graying)...but the one and only until 19 years later, at age 38. So I've pulled maybe 7 gray hairs since May. Egad, the battle has commenced!!! A friend who is my age told me wearily (she was one who began graying at age 36), "Oh, why fight it?" I'm like, "Why NOT fight it??." I'm too young to have gray hairs! A consolation, though, is that I have no lines, no crow's feet; my face is still as smooth and taut as a baby's.

I don't look forward to getting old; I wonder if many people do. The only "positive" about it is that it happens to everyone, and isn't based on gender or race or class or the row of digits in one's bank account.

I wonder, if I live to be 78, if I'll remember the beginnings of The Gray Hair War on my scalp from 40 years before. So, there's a little idea for your friend Bob.

--Cindy

clark · 2003-10-14 10:58:57

I never stopped to pluck gray hair,
Even though I've had my share,
Instead, I waited for time to pass,
Hoping for an understanding lass,

Who would take pity and fall in love,
And never comment on my locks above,
On how they might need a darker shade,
With fake colors that never fade.

No never, not ever, will I endeavor
To pull aged hairs before their time,
Nor ever, and I mean never, will I sever
Any hair that I luckily can call mine.

For these gray colored curls,
Are like life's cultured pearls,
And even though my head looks thatched,
Over the years, I've become attached,

To this crop of hair atop my head,
I'd rather gray, than gray hair shed!

clark · 2003-10-14 11:27:33

Oh gray hair, which curls in bloom
How like a ballerina, your grace
Yet your appearance foretells coming doom,
The impending tide of gray to soon replace

This once mighty crown of colored tresses,
My one conceit, this voice confesses,
But you care not, nor will reason do,
Already that one gray hair has become two!

Alas, woe is me, sad days fast approach,
Like silent hunter, these gray hairs poach,
What little color time has left to me,
So I pluck those two, but two become three!

How they spread like fire atop my head,
(I swear to god they weren't there when I went to bed,
The evening before, or the one before that)
There's now four, oh where is my hat!

But it is to late for such simple remedies,
Those four become five, jumping like fleas.
I cringe and I cry and tear them all out,
Five become ten, I let out a shout-

No more, please, I give in,
Gray hair cometh, I cannot win.

clark · 2003-10-14 11:53:28

Welcome to the madhouse. The only place where going in is going out. Where up is down is left is right and every day is like the one before, only older. Please, come take a look, but don't look at what you take!

Snails trails and puppy dog tails
cats in sacks like brick-a-bracks
forever and ever the canterlever
hope and mope while you elope
look out gums cause here is comes!

clark · 2003-10-14 11:54:36

I should have taken the blue pill today.

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