Apropos of Nothing -3-

Mad Grad Student · 2004-09-28 20:15:16

Bring me two of every animal!

Good advice for the future Mars colonists.

The other day we were discussing the relationship between Grendel (chief monster in Beowulf) and his mother my English class. Yes, we digress a lot that hour, perhaps it's because lunch is the next period after the class. Anyway, someone inevitably brought up the question of where Grendel's father is this whole time and I suggested that perhaps Grendel-monsters are like this one species of gecko that live out in the desert in Arizona. Somehow they're able to reporduce without needing males, but the downside is that the offspring are genetically identical to the parent(s?), which leaves the species very vulnerable to disease. That got some weird looks.

I'm in a bit of a quandry here, maybe you guys can help me out. Should I take my date out to dinner before my school's homecoming dance this Saturday, or bowling afterward? Dinner would be more romantic, yes, but bowling would be fun and have a more relaxed atmosphere, and let me stay up later than I humanly ought to be awake. I suppose we could do both, actually it's looking like that's what will happen at this point. Still, advice anyone?

"Never give up, never surrender!"
-Peter Quincy Taggert/Jason Nesmith/Tim Allen, Glaxy Quest

Cobra Commander · 2004-09-29 06:08:58

I suppose we could do both, actually it's looking like that's what will happen at this point. Still, advice anyone?

:hm: A first for these forums:

For what it's worth I'd say plan for both, but if one has to be wanting let it be the bowling. If you and her can't both enjoy conversing over dinner, what's the point of proceeding?

Well, assuming honorable intentions, of course.

Palomar · 2004-09-29 06:19:32

*Mad Grad, I hope you don't mind my input (I'm not sure if you only prefer the men here reply).

If you're both comfortable with the one-on-one coziness of dinner, go for it. If there's a chance there will be long protracted silences, awkwardness and self-consciousness (when I was dating I disliked eating in front of a new date...don't know why...) over the dinner table, pass on it.

But you mention going bowling would be "would be fun and have a more relaxed atmosphere." So it depends (of course, and as you've already noted) on the temperaments and preferences of you both. Going bowling would provide more opportunities for interaction with others, up-and-going activity than dining out is. Has your date indicated a preference for or at least a liking of bowling?

Whichever prospect seems most enjoyable to both of you is the choice to make. Unless, of course, you go ahead with both plans as you indicated you might.

Good luck.

--Cindy

Rxke · 2004-09-29 07:18:56

Depends on your table-manners!

clark · 2004-09-29 07:51:24

Dinner- group or alone? Groups can reduce moments of awkardness, but can be less romantic... which may be less less stressful given all the unknowns.

Always open the door for her (except when exiting a car). Compliment her shoes and hair. Have a few jokes prepared, short and to the point, preface them all as being 'silly or korny', intersperse them throughout dinner if alone. Do not try to order for her, but allow her to order first. If in a group, or dining together, don't start eating until everyone has their food on the table. Do not order anything that requires you to use fingers or is overly messy.

As for bowling, it is something that can be fun. Have a plan B ready in case, for whatever reason, bowling dosen't work or dosen't sound like fun at the time. A good standby alternative is to find a late night diner and order dessert and coffee/ hot choclate.

Remember, she is just afraid of you as you are of her.

clark · 2004-09-29 13:56:07

Space Joke:

What did the one space pilot say to the other space pilot when he started laughing about being caught in a black hole?

"I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the matter."
:band:

clark · 2004-09-29 14:01:26

Another Space Joke:

Where did the obstinate politican tell the space advocate to put his lunar colony?

"Put it where the sun don't shine."
:band:

Get it? No? Damn. I probably shouldn't have quit my day job.

clark · 2004-09-29 14:04:28

Okay, okay, the first one didn't get a chuckle, this one will. I swear!

Why is there never anymore fights onboard a space station after the first one?

They always take the first one outside.
:band:

clark · 2004-09-29 14:21:51

If that wasn't to your liking, how about this... stop me if you've heard it before. No, really, please.

An Astronaut, Cosmonaut, and a Takinaut are all onboard a newly commisioned Chinese space station when disaster strikes. They had to abandon the station but there were only two working space suits. So they try to decide who will get the suits.

The Cosmonaut says that since his people were the first in space, it was only right that he shouls get one. The Astronaut agreed, and said that it was only right that he should get a suit since his people were first to the Moon. The Takinaut agreed with both, but said his people were the only ones that fit in the suits.

:band:

Mad Grad Student · 2004-09-29 21:09:18

:hm: A first for these forums:

Yep, always pushing the envelope.

Remember, she is just afraid of you as you are of her.

In all likelihood that's probably true. Perhpas I should rephrase that. I'm not afraid of her, per say (duh), it's more a fear of slipping up, doing something stupid, being trapped in a no-dialogue scinerio, or just generally making a fool of myself. Then again, I suppose we've all been there, except of course for me who will be there in 96 hours and seven minutes from the time I finished this sentence. There's a first time for everything, as Piccard didn't say, all good things (that actually happen) must have a begining.

I don't think that the whole chivilry thing will work, as I don't think that she'll even give me a chance to be chivalrous. Believe me, I've tried holding doors open after class (something I usually do anyway if someone's leaving close behind me) and she often bolts to the door before I get the chance. If we do go out to dinner it would be either just the two of us at a nice restaurant or the two of us plus her two sisters at a fast food place. Obviously the latter isn't a viable option, so it looks like it will be dinner for two.

I actually do know one very crappy science joke. Okay, so there are two hydrogen atoms walking down the street. One of them turns to the other and says "Hey, I think I've lost an electron." The other one turns to it and says "Are you sure?" The first one answers "I'm positive."
:band:

"I'm positive!" Ha! Cause the hydrogen atoms now a positive ion! What a riot! Okay, it's pretty bad (but not any worse than clark's suggestions, no offense), but she's in science bowl as well, so maybe she'll like the intellectual part and it could become an inside joke of sorts. We sit next to each other in French, so any suggestions along those lines? Please, nothing involving George Bush or stereotypes, so I suppose that rules out every French joke availible.

Completely different topic: yesterday I found out that someone that lives down the street from me is starting high school this year. Last I paid any attention to her family she was in fifth grade, and now she's a freshman! It's realizations like this that make me stop and realize that key events in my life have happened WAY back. For example, I remember seeing the first Diamondbacks game at Bank One Ballpark as though it only happened a little while ago, but earlier today I realized that it was half of my lifetime ago.

It's weird, biologically I'm 15 and a half, but chronologically I don't feel any different than I did when I was in sixth grade four years ago, and mentally, well, how do youd determine age that way? I feel more at home talking about the rings of Saturn and the rocket equation with people more than twice my age than I do talking about the last chemistry test (why does everyone think those things are so hard!?) with my peers. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that I'm as close to being a child as I am to being an adult and I'm as close to being 10 as I am to being 20.

So let's take a vote: How badly do I need to get a weblog to put these rantings in? :laugh:

Mad Grad Student · 2004-09-29 21:35:07

More wbcast fueled rantings:
IMHO Peter Diamondis sounds a lot different in the X Prize webcast than I ever imagined him sounding. Odd. The webcast is pretty cool but there ought to be some trimmed down version, ie just the SS1 flight itself. It took me ten minutes of slowly clicking my way through the thing to find the flight itself, quite inconvinent (sp awful, I know).

"By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be avenged!"
-Dr. Lazarus/Alexander Dane, Galaxy Quest

clark · 2004-09-30 05:49:13

It's not chivalry I'm talking about... it's respect. You don't have to open every door, you have to try. All it is simply an outward sign of demonstrating that you are thinking of her. Besides, the setting of a date are a bit different than at school. She has a dress and probably heels, it'll slow her down (you can always kick her in the shin- a joke, come on people)

If you want french humor, just fall down a lot and make weird faces. The french love that.

Probably the best advice is to just ignore us all and anyone else and be yourself. It's what got you the date in the first place (unless of course you blackmailed her... which has been known to work from time to time)

Adult's are nothing more than big 5 year olds. Look around, the world is run by children. You have mabye (probably to late) another year or two before the hormones go into overdrive, then you will be stupid and silly like the rest of us. Just enjoy the ride.

BWhite · 2004-09-30 11:52:01

Question: What do you get from too much Rogaine and too much Viagra?

Answer: Don King.

clark · 2004-10-01 09:26:09

Back in a previous life, I worked with this urologist that recounted a tale of too much Viagra. Apparently, a trucker stopped off at the local brothel in Nevada to acquire their services. Such was his desire to enjoy his time, he took several more doses of the little blue than is usually recommended. While having a good time, three days later, without any change in the turgid-ness of his smaller self, he was admitted to the local emergency rooms. It seems that the blood flow had been cut off, and gangrene was setting in. Poor bastard had the tip of his whosit lopped off.

I don't know if it's true, but it's funny because it isn't me.

Mad Grad Student · 2004-10-01 22:57:47

From the episode of Futurama Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?:

"Okay, Zoidberg, first you've got to tell her how pretty she looks."
"All right, Fry, then the mating?"
-Slaps head- "No, no, no! Ask her how her day was."
"But Fry, I don't care how her day was."
"That doesn't matter, just pretend you do care about it and say 'mm-hm.'"
"Your human mating ritual is so hard to perform, with the acting, and the talking, and the lies upon lies!"

Later on:

"Fry it's odd, I'm begining to fell strange emotions aobut her. I care for her on a level completely seperate of mating. Is this love?"
"Nah, must be some weird alien emotion."
-Philip J. Fry and Dr. Zoidberg

Adult's are nothing more than big 5 year olds. Look around, the world is run by children. You have mabye (probably to late) another year or two before the hormones go into overdrive, then you will be stupid and silly like the rest of us. Just enjoy the ride

That's certainly true. At least for the vast majority of adults, like all the horribly obnoxious ones I have to see every day on the bus when I can't carpool home. As for hormones, they're probably near critical mass as is, you just have to find a way to turn it off. Fortunately our universe is quite interesting as it stands, and if you're in the right mood just as atrractive as social interaction (not that us antisocial nerds get much of that anyways).

I know you were kidding back there, but just decided to respond to the comment anyway. The being myself part is likely the best thing to do I suppose. Normally, one might think that learning French could be an asset on dates, but it doesn't really work when your date is taking the same class as you. There's only so many times you can say "Ma petitie *******, tu es tres belle ce soir" (My little **, you're beautiful tonight) and unfortunately complete jibberish doesn't work either. The statement "J'ai un stylo du demain au la jus de pomme moins en cours" sounds beautiful if you pronounce it right but in reality means "I have a pen for tomorrow at the apple juice minus a class." That's just plain confusing.

"Look, I have one lousy job on this ship (repeating the computer); it's stupid, but I'm gonna do it, okay!?"
-Agent Tawny Madison/Gwen DeMarco/Sigourny Weaver, Galaxy Quest

Palomar · 2004-10-02 07:32:43

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=s … water]Lord of the Flies?

Inbred Island?

Gad...is enough to make me nauseous. Victimizing children...what a creep.

Everyone's related or connected through marriage. ::shiver:: Will decline further comments (except to say growing up in a small town can be bad enough...but THIS?? No - Thank - You!).

Check out the reference to a man named John Adams (a 19th century figure); according to the article, the island became prosperous and more orderly when he "found religion." That gives a pause for thought.

--Cindy

Mad Grad Student · 2004-10-02 16:53:24

"Good afternoon... gentlemen. I am an HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the Hal plant in Urbana, Illinois, on the twelth of January, 1992. My instructor was Dr. Chandra, and he taught me to sing a song. It's called 'Daisy.'

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer, do,
I'm half crazy all for the love of you,
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet,
Upon the seat,
Of a bicycle built
For two."
-Hal

Haunting, isn't it? Or perhaps jovial, it all depends on the context. Hal singing "Daisy" while slowly having his brain picked apart by David Bowman, haunting. The song being played while Bender is courting the Planet Express Ship, hillarious. It's all about context, as Shakespeare said "Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so." The same is true, of course, of those stunningly beautiful pictures of supernovae and nebulas. Big clouds of hydrogen aren't dazzling. Our perception of what they symbolize, however, is.

"You're dating the ship, Bender? That's crazy! That's like me dating a really fat lady. And then living inside her. And she'd be all like, nerrrow- wooosh (spaceship noises, waves hand like a ship flying around)!!!"
-Fry

Rxke · 2004-10-02 17:17:25

MadGrad, every single time I see your sig, I start humming that song...

Mad Grad Student · 2004-10-04 19:27:07

MadGrad, every single time I see your sig, I start humming that song...

Yeah, it has that effect, doesn't it, provided you've heard the song. And it turns out that there's a pretty nice emoticon to go with it:

"There's no emoticon to describe what I'm feeling!"
-Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons

Well, I suppose I'd better follow through and describe how the whole dealie went. You know what it's like when you spend all week waiting for something to happen, and then, when it actually happensh, it's about 10-15 better than in your wildest dreams it might be? Well, that pretty much sums up how Saturday night/Sunday morning was for me. IT WAS AWESOME!!! There really is no emoticon that accurately shows what it felt like swinging to "Zoot Suit Riot" or doing the electric slide with my date, the academic decathlon team, et al, so these will have to do.
:laugh:

Almost everything happened along with my date's sisters and their dates as well, so the whole thing ended up becoming a sort of group activity, but my date and I did manage to have a contained, intimate conversation over dinner. Btw, the jokes didn't seem to work very well, but the conversation really got going when someone mentioned something about genetic engineering. It was either that or mad-cow disease, I'm not sure which, but it evolved into a nice intellectual dinner conversation. Bowling was something of a letdown compared to the dance and dinner, but it was okay I suppose. Eventually we (a group of four in this case) figured out that the best way to have fun bowling is to rename your opponents faster than they can rename themselves, and ended up with some interesting screenames. I ended up being, among others, Von Braun, my real name, my date's name, Androgynous Barbie, insert name, and Guy. Fun stuff.

Perhaps this is an interesting lesson in phsycology or something, but it was amazingly easy to throw any inhibitions out the door while we were at the dance. Being a science bowl/IB nerd, it was odd just getting out there and dancing, and not caring about how excruciatingly loud the music was. It was indeed pretty cool.

So, the real moral of the story here is to draw the line at how many private deatails to give out on the internet. Clearly that line was probably crossed by me, but who really cares anyway? I hope I haven't bored you too much in the interim; now we're back to our regularly scheduled aimless rambling.

Oh, yes, and the other moral is that swing music r0xors. :;):

Palomar · 2004-10-05 10:13:43

There's this guy, maybe in his late 40s, who is a native of this area. My husband knew him from school, etc. He thinks he looks like Elvis Presley. Even at night he'll wear his big 1970s golden sunglasses (have seen him in stores at those hours). There is a vague resemblance to Presley in his facial profile but that is it. Wears his hair in a Pompadour, the works. Apparently he went to Las Vegas a while back and chanced to get included in a documentary. He's preening more than ever now, of course. My husband made an unflattering comment to him the other day -- that went over like a lead balloon drenched in acid (my husband tends to be a bit, erm...how shall I say it?...OUTSPOKEN :laugh: ).

Anyway, I feel sorry for this guy's wife. She seems like a nice, down-to-Earth sort. Basically seems to stay with him while they shop (maybe not her idea), looking uncomfortable...and of course he ignores her while Getting Noticed. ::shakes head:: People.

I once saw a guy in southern Texas who was a deadringer for Kenny Rogers -- and he knew it. Drove around in the fanciest car he likely could afford. I was startled when I first saw him, and he liked the response of course. Not a KR fan, but this guy was his twin.

--Cindy

clark · 2004-10-06 14:16:59

I met a guy who looked like Jay Leno. Oh wait, it was Jay Leno. :laugh:

He looks much taller on TV. But then again, they all do.

Josh Cryer · 2004-10-07 04:44:55

I'm remarkably sad. Psychologists (or should it be psychiatrists?) would be intruged.

clark · 2004-10-07 05:41:47

Depression eh?

A Psychologist will ask you how you feel.
A Psychiatrist will ask you how you feel, give you some pills, then ask you how you feel.

Find some mud and wiggle your toes in it. If that dosen't cheer you up, nothing will. Ancient Martian cureall.

Josh Cryer · 2004-10-07 10:43:53

Wow, of all the things to pick, you picked one that could perhaps make me sadder. Way to go clark.

clark · 2004-10-07 10:47:58

stick in the mud.

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