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#51 2004-01-08 12:57:08

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

round we sit the fire,
fire;
up it burns,
higher, higher;
round we stand the fire,
fire;
up we lift,
higher, higher;
round we dance the fire,
fire;
up we jump, 
higher, higher;
round we leave the fire,
fire;
up we fly,
higher, higher.


Not a poem, but something a bit more 'basic', my intention was to mimic something of a fireside chant. Imagine yourself in a cave, outside a million fires burn in the night sky, campfires of the dead, or some strange gods? Gazing at those unknown pin-pricks of light, wondering what, or who, might be there, or what secrets they hold.

Poetry should be read aloud to fully enjoy it, and usually you are better served by having someone read it to you (there is a difference!). If you try to read this outloud, stress the secondary repeated word (either 'fire' or 'higher')with more emphasis and a little speed (indeed, the entire poem should pick up pace as you progress)

So, any thoughts?  smile

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#52 2004-01-08 20:40:46

Martian Apollo
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-01-08
Posts: 9
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Sky Bound

Way up in the cosmos,
there is a blue ball,
from a distance,
it seems so small,
I imagine peering,
looking down from the sky,
standing on another planet,
a world I left behind,
watching from a distance,
as it rotates around and around,
tranquil and peaceful,
without a problem to be found.

TSATS -- 2003

This was inspired by the picture of Earth from Mars, and the strife we as a planet have been going through with all the conflict and war. From space the world is peaceful...one wonders if humanity will ever get the point.

Copyright Christopher Krollage, 2003-04. Republish with copyright acknowledgment is permissible.


"We need to get back into that Saturn V world mentality."
Gene Cernan -- Commander Apollo 17

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#53 2004-01-08 20:42:51

Martian Apollo
Banned
From: Florida
Registered: 2004-01-08
Posts: 9
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

round we sit the fire,
fire;
up it burns,
higher, higher;
round we stand the fire,
fire;
up we lift,
higher, higher;
round we dance the fire,
fire;
up we jump, 
higher, higher;
round we leave the fire,
fire;
up we fly,
higher, higher.


Not a poem, but something a bit more 'basic', my intention was to mimic something of a fireside chant. Imagine yourself in a cave, outside a million fires burn in the night sky, campfires of the dead, or some strange gods? Gazing at those unknown pin-pricks of light, wondering what, or who, might be there, or what secrets they hold.

Poetry should be read aloud to fully enjoy it, and usually you are better served by having someone read it to you (there is a difference!). If you try to read this outloud, stress the secondary repeated word (either 'fire' or 'higher')with more emphasis and a little speed (indeed, the entire poem should pick up pace as you progress)

So, any thoughts?  smile

Very primal, I like it.


"We need to get back into that Saturn V world mentality."
Gene Cernan -- Commander Apollo 17

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#54 2004-02-12 19:32:12

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Where is this Mars,
With visions colored monochrome red
And steeped in velvet cake ground,
Kissed lovingly by timeless winds
To sleep quietly through infinities dance?

Where is this Mars,
That howls heartache against full moon,
drowning out innumerable stars,
while screaming within our breast
for life, for love, for our unknown touch?

Where is this Mars,
Sailing across heavens empty forever
Carrying unfilled dreams and promises yet,
To bold that we dare not speak,
Lest whispers break such fragile hope?

Where is this Mars,
And sweet daybreak that finds her shores
Of water mixed blue with red,
By children from another world
Who came to build sand castles from the wind?

Where is this Mars?

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#55 2004-03-08 14:25:30

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Something of a compulsion.  big_smile

Come sunlit trails of red made new
With voyagers begun in oceans blue,
To touch this ground, from skies above,
To wake from slumber this dream we love,
Of castled ramparts set in gilded gold,
Silvered domes built against the cold,
Where struggle, sacrifice, and death do stare,
Beyond windows overlooking desert bare,
And broken bones set in lava cooled,
While dust and wind forever ruled
Eternity, timeless times from now to then,
Before the rule of evolutions Men;
That observed faint star of ruby red,
Compelling them to follow where it led,
Afar, above, beyond our mortal snare,
Still calling those few who long to dare
The constraints or limits of all between,
To leave the mother, to finally wean,
And walk upon two legs made strong,
Multiplying the worlds of mankind's song,
With colors, sounds, too long unknown,
On this empty world of stone.

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#56 2004-03-09 15:14:27

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Fair Mars, fair Mars
In crimson clad delight,
Sweet succor to this mortal sight,
That hangs upon your rising frame
With visions, visions, wealth and fame,
Oh, in abundance do you offer hope,
Oh, in compulsion do we climb the rope,
Of celestial knots and delat-v
Where we swim in gravity free,
To your shores too long unfound,
All our journeys forever bound
To this goal, to your delights,
To gaze with human eyes the sights
Of chasms deep and mountains high,
As glory sunsets set on oceans dry,
And we dream the journey long,
Making verdant fields in song,
To replace bare rocks of yesterday,
For fair Mars, fair Mars, we come to stay.

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#57 2004-03-10 21:58:05

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Because it dosen't always have to be about space. big_smile Don't worry, there's plenty! :laugh:


Sometimes, for just a moment
I am a butterfly, with wings spanning
Fanning and falling free, ah, a butterfly
Free in winds and wild with whim, ah,
Floating free to sing, to bring while lost
In skies of cream delight, tender kisses
Sweet buzz, in ear with fluttering caress
Unknown lover to daydream fancy shadow plays
In twisting noon whirlwind slumber, lazy
Leaves languid emerald sunshine splash
Splash see-saw landing to bask, ah,
Brilliance bright in horizons silk blouse,
Slick, thick scents smell on breeze of bees
A buzz, buzzing trees humming hymn, 
Rustle bustle busy orchestra conductor
While I do bow and bluster, twirling off
In sunshine deep end no bottom tops
Of clouds upside down somersault   
Splayed colored glass windows do wings see, ah,
Skin slippery slips slide off to glow, grow
To and fro back and forth to the beat, a draft
Upward, ever up with swirl to curl unfurl
Above in jittered pause, a brief moment, nectar
Glistening to call stall, then fall among ambrosia,
Ah, divine,
This moment.

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#58 2004-03-18 16:12:59

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Cold sleep and she is there
To taint this nightmare dream
With trappings of despair-
Barren broken bones lay bleached,
By oversized star blazing noon,
Even this warm brush is denied.
No love but for her, no joy
But the soft pull of her slight embrace,
Delicate upon the sinews of flesh and muscle.

Cold sweat and I am hers,
This Martian muse that never loved
My form, my body, still denied-
To scale heavens peak but for her,
Only to be met at arms length
While she awaits her Odysseus,
It is not I, this ill-fated suitor,
Would be pretender to the throne.
What care have I for her bounty?
It is her body and soul I wish.

Cold desire and I make her mine
With dark thoughts brooding,
Conspiring with plans to trap this maiden nymph-
Virgin untouched, her wiles,
Broken body, bones recast to suit my embrace;
I lay claim, yet she rules,
I stand atop while she devours beneath.
The sifting sands swiftly change and she remains,
Patient with the dying garlands of our union.

Cold Mars and I am undone,
She lives, as I die, waiting
For unknown love.

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#59 2004-03-25 06:50:26

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

By the Meridiani sea,
Waves of salt splashing free,
Upon a beach of fine red sand,
Along the shores of Martian land,
Where water sprays in oceans roar,
And sterile womb never bore,
Life, to swim or climb from thee,
Or was this the root of life’s first tree?
To grow, to branch, to spread its seed,
Was this planet the first to bleed?
To seep with color the blood of life,
Did it first know existence’s strife?
Or was she second to sister Earth,
Inheriting first children of Terran birth,
Who climbed, who crossed, who fell upon
Empty world and distant dawn?
Whose water first borne fruit,
Whose Pan was first to play their flute;
Among the gardens of paradise,
While thickened sky did entice
More life in ever splendid array,
Where did life’s green first greet the day?
Was it red, was it blue,
Is life returned to Mars old or new?
Discoveries afar now await,
To discern the Martian fate,
Of ancient life and Meridiani sea,
And the origin of all to be.

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#60 2004-03-25 13:48:46

John Creighton
Member
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Registered: 2001-09-04
Posts: 2,401
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

The Cosmos in chaos

Region, opium, television, dreams and stories
Productivity, hard work and innovation.
A collision of contradiction,
An explosion
Joy, depression, sadness rejoice
The human equation
Dynamics
Unknown states
Chaotic results
And an end but
a beginning
Changing manifolds in fractal geometry
A beauty that is seen in a
Chaos of sound bites
The infinity of the continuum
Of ideas
Dwarfing the boxed
Ideas of our time
Woven by billions
The tapestry of time
The disjoint threads unite
Into a story
Stringing an order
A cosmos


Dig into the [url=http://child-civilization.blogspot.com/2006/12/political-grab-bag.html]political grab bag[/url] at [url=http://child-civilization.blogspot.com/]Child Civilization[/url]

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#61 2004-03-25 13:59:12

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Well done John.  smile  What was the spark for the prose?

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#62 2004-04-18 15:16:38

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Wind swept desert bare
With longings traveled from endless stare
Beyond the shadowed pale fog of night
Out past the end of twilight’s sight
In silent graves, afar await
Tempting footsteps towards their fate
To touch, to know, to claim this land
To make of dust a fine red band
Upon the finger, worn to skin
A waiting bride for the house of men
Yet how she does pull now away
Yet how now we long to stay
Upon the bed untouched, unsoiled
Mars, her beauty, offers unspoiled
She waits as we do look upon
Our setting sun, her coming dawn
Of life, of love, of men and hate
While our dreams grow long and late-

Desert bare is the time at hand,
Where hope does sleep in Martian sand.

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#63 2004-04-18 16:32:11

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Just to consolidate, I am posting this here. I had originally posted this in Topic: Mars Design & Architecture, ...(how do you visualize it?) (page 2) in reply to Mundaka's thoughts on future Martian architecture.

If any have any requests or comments, I always appreciate different points of view on this kind of stuff. Hope some are enjoying, and if not, thanks for tolerating my crooning to the stars and mars. big_smile

Painted memories adorn these walls
Dressing Martian beauty in Earthly calls,
With colored tiles of cobalt blue
Scenes of rain and morning dew,
Where whales do rise in oceans gray
Kissing azure skies in morning play,
And heaving storms gather afar
Whispered recollections of a faint blue star,
Of seas, of life, of colors free,
Of scents, of wind, and endless tree;
Pictures, photos from this ancient land
Remembered now, etched in sand,
Upon these shores of orange-red rust
Where man does build from wind and dust,
To sing, to call, to continue on,
To weave new stories upon distant dawn
In brick, in mortar, in sweat and love,
Seeking heaven, to rise above-
All captured are these moments to be,
As our spirit fills the empty Martian sea.

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#64 2004-04-21 13:04:48

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Venus smiles in reflections pool
While starry eyed Moon looks on,
Waters still beneath evening grace
As midnight comes anon;

Wind with chill on baited breath
Whispers in the ear,
It carries promises of life unseen
From shadows far and near;

Soft water now ripples free
And mirrored sky is torn,
Distant suns continue on
Dancing till the coming morn';

And ruby Mars, of pale delight,
Glows amber across the sky,
No war does she promise man,
Only sweet dreams to make us sigh;

In silence then, when wind has died,
And water grown cold and still,
I watch the floating heavens fly,
In wait, in wonder, until.

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#65 2004-04-26 13:51:39

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Come walking down the halls of white,
Echoing footsteps linger far from sight,
To wither off in silent eternity,
As I do walk in temerity,
Not by choice but sentence and decree,
To walk this hall, my life as fee
For offenses I have been tried,
For these wrongs, I must abide,
The walk to waiting room ahead,
The walk to where I soon will be dead,
These feet do not fail, do not buckle beneath,
As I savor last breath between my teeth,
I walk on, walk on, to the end of all halls,
Long past where any may hear my calls
Or plea's for mercy to stay the hand,
That opens airlock to Martian sand,
No, no, there can be no reprieve,
For I have offended, I now must leave.

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#66 2004-05-10 12:28:53

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Where the wild things do not grow
And verdant green did never sow,
In barren fields of rock and salt
Mere puzzle pieces of Martian gestalt ,
To entreat and pass our time
Giving me words to speak in rhyme,
And riddle, aye, it waits galore
On this the Martian desert shore,
A blank page of unwritten words
With empty sky devoid of birds,
To sing in merriment or with fright,
Above waiting vistas unseen by sight
By human eyes or bestial stare,
The long deep red awaits all bare,
Hungering for awakening, do you see?
In forests imagined, it waits for tree,
And plant, and grass, with roots down deep,
It waits for Sycamore and Willow weep,
The taste of springtime, nectared air,
The touch of wind with lovers care,
Till fruit is ripe and readily falls,
Heeding mother, it follows the calls
Towards land, towards earth, towards mother Mars,
It calls, it calls, beyond the stars,
     Fill me and emptiness without end,
     Give in, succumb, finally bend,
To silent cries across the night,
That stir the heart, cause us to flight
In search of voices carried on the wind,
From home and hearth it does rend,
In making a world that never was,
For absence and life is all there ever 'twas.

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#67 2004-05-10 19:36:01

John Creighton
Member
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Registered: 2001-09-04
Posts: 2,401
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

What does math have,
That reason lacks,
For isn’t reason,
The application of principle,
Where as mathematicians study
the consequences of axioms.
Isomorphicly equivalent,
Reason=derivation
Principle=axiom
But by what principles or axioms
Do we draw these conclusions.
Reason, is only a subset of
The universe where all math,
Is born. To see how a coffee cup,
Is like a donate, shows that,
Math, is about people and beauty,
And the language or reason,
Does not have enough the words,,


Dig into the [url=http://child-civilization.blogspot.com/2006/12/political-grab-bag.html]political grab bag[/url] at [url=http://child-civilization.blogspot.com/]Child Civilization[/url]

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#68 2004-05-18 13:49:03

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Rivers run of sand rust red
Wind blown waves of dunes instead,
Replace familiar colors of world before
Where men did wonder, "what lays in store,"
Upon distant planet, beyond pale blue sky
While others wished or prayed in sigh,
For knowledge of the distant far
To know the vistas of crimson star,
Which hangs, which hung, now await,
To be mankind's next hill, inevitable fate
Are dreams of footprints etched in sand,
Of children born from Martian land,
Where chills of wind go unknown,
And memories of rain are never sown
In hearts and hearth of rising Mars,
while moons do shrink beneath endless stars
That glow and sparkle there, now there,
What constellations await to ensnare?
Unknown, unknown, untouched this dream,
In wait it lays to one day teem
With life alive to alight the sky,
For seas to rage and rivers cry
Filling deep empty oceans wide,
As Mars does blue by human guide-
All descended from those before,
The ones who dreamed this Martian lore.

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#69 2004-05-18 14:22:40

REB
Banned
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: 2004-04-07
Posts: 555
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

I am not really a poet, but I'll give it a shot.

Two sisters sparkle
In the eyes of their red brother
The blue sister is a mother
With a son by her side
Who sometime likes to hide
In his mother twinkle

The red brother
Has two sons of his own
They were adopted to his home
In his red eyes the sons often show.
But the red brother does not know
Who is his two sons’ mother

The yellow sister
Who shines in her red brother’s eyes
Has no children in her skies
She is her sisters twin only in size
With a hot temper and a breath that flies
She is nothing like her blue sister.

The two sisters shining bright
And their red brother
Also bask in the light
Of their powerful mother
who holds on tight


"Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do, once a plan fails!"  -Earl Bassett

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#70 2004-05-18 14:39:33

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Well done Robert! You shouldn't make such a claim about your ability.  smile

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#71 2004-05-18 14:48:04

REB
Banned
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: 2004-04-07
Posts: 555
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Thanks Clark. I enjoy writing science fiction. I have done very little poetry. It is kind of fun and challenging.


"Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do, once a plan fails!"  -Earl Bassett

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#72 2004-05-18 15:05:51

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

So, let's come up with some challenges...  big_smile (i love stuff like this)

Write a poem about Mars without using any refrences to color.

Of course the challenge is open to all who wish to try.  smile

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#73 2004-05-18 15:20:51

Cobra Commander
Member
From: The outskirts of Detroit.
Registered: 2002-04-09
Posts: 3,039

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

What the hell...

cold sands, red before we bled upon it.
gloved hands laboring in twilight.
Mad man, who'd throw away a life of comfort,
toiling in the sands to build himself a better life.

red skies, thick with dust of lifeless ages.
cold eyes, stare to the horizon.
no lies delude our sense of purpose,
from the ancient god of war we will rend a better life.

new lives populate the planet,
stubbornly defying the lifeless wastes beyond.
We rise, ready for the challenge,
armed against the hardships, resolutely pressing on.

Blue sky, because we choose to make it,
inexorably changing the barren face of mars.
This time, our race shall do it better,
conquering the elements, grasping for the stars.

        Didn't meet clark's challenge though.  big_smile


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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#74 2004-05-18 15:33:16

clark
Member
Registered: 2001-09-20
Posts: 6,362

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

See, even the warmongering fascists among us have soul! For you Cobra... try for the challenge. big_smile

And so the men marched ever on,
past frozen hills and distant dawn,
while some did falter in fear of day,
we braved on to finally stay,
upon highest hill that ever was climbed,
with muscle strong, with determined mind,
now no earthly pull holds sway,
no frightened men to choose our way,
For we are the chosen people of far Mars,
we are the inheritors of endless stars.
And so the men marched ever on,
to Moon, to Mars, and ever beyond.

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#75 2004-05-19 07:59:09

REB
Banned
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: 2004-04-07
Posts: 555
Website

Re: Any poets? - Comments, CONSTRUCTIVE critisism, ideas.

Clark, I am impressed, you can crank out some really good stuff. Does it take you long?


"Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do, once a plan fails!"  -Earl Bassett

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